Its over. I dont know what to do.
I dont know if anyone that ready this now has seen my last thread, or can remember it, but basically i was talking about my online friend who was also my best friend, that she left me kinda without a reason and without explaination.
I really wanted closure on this, so I decided to text her again... Wich might have been the wrong choice, the Talk didnt really go anywhere, just her kinda telling me the same things she already did before, when i asked her to elaborate more i didnt get a text from her but from her boyfriend. The text he sent was 90% just insults to me, without clear context and not really answering any of my questions, just him telling me how attention seeking i am, and so on, i kinda tried to keep it as respectful as i can, telling him i just wanna know what's wrong and how a Person can throw away 2 years of friendship after being so close, But somehow he didn't even try to respond to it and just kept disrespecting me, telling me that he knows what a bad person i was and that he knows enough and has, seen enough to know that im just an attention seeker that vents every day... Wich is not true at all, Sure ive told her my Problems sometimes, but so did she and both of us were always fine with that... I wish i knew just what she showed him for him to be thinking like that... Well long Story short, she blocked me after that and my world kinda broke into pieces...
Now I kinda feel like im going insane.. I kinda started sonething like an obsessive Stalking behavior ever since and i cant stop it... I stalk all of her Accounts every day.. Found so much Personal Information about her... Made plans on how to get close to her again.. And idk how to stop, i just feel like i cant control it and i really cant handle the grieving either... I feel like such a creep
@Justnotleooo
You are not a creep but you need to stop 💚
Before this escalates any further.
She just wasn't the person you thought she was.
She took advantage of your kindness and then just left.
Why would you want someone like that in your life?
She obviously painted a bad picture ho her bf.
She made her decision now.
It's not nice but you need to accept it and let it go.
And allow yourself to heal.
Theyve took enough, don't let them take anymore 💚
I know i probably should but I'm just so attached
All of it doesnt feel real to me, i keep hoping to wake up and realize that all of it was just a bad dream
I really dont know how to let go, how to process it, i havent been able to sleep, to eat, to do anything normal for the whole time now and it just doesnt get better
Ofc i know that she might have been a wrong person... But It feels like my brain wont accept that, so many conversations keep replaying in my head, i see her in my dreams, its just so bad and idk how to stop it
@Justnotleooo
I know, it sucks, it's awful
But she isn't the person you thought she was.
No matter how much you want to believe it.
She chose to stop talking to you.
She chose to tell her bf and get her bf to message and insult you.
It's time to take off the rose tinted glasses.
You need to drink, eat and sleep, to feel better.
You have to respect her decisions, and let her go, you have no other choice ultimately , this is said for your own benefit and before it gets dangerous 💚
Thank you for your words, i really appreciate you and your help. 🙏
I will try my best, but im not so sure where to start yet and if i can do it alone, it just feels like its all eating me alive, but im gonna try, its not like i really have a choice
@Justnotleooo
💚
Hey, I just want to say I’m here for you and I care about what you’re going through. What you’re feeling is completely understandable. When someone ghosts you, it can create what’s called attachment injury and rumination, and an addictive loop in your mind. This isn’t about you being obsessive; it’s your brain trying to find closure.
I know it’s hard, but it’s important to cut off access to her accounts. It might feel impossible at first, but it really helps to stop the cycle. And whenever you feel that urge to look, try something physical to break that pattern, like splashing cold water on your face or going for a quick walk.
I’m really glad you’re on 7 Cups that’s a great resource. Just keep in mind that if it feels overwhelming, it might be helpful to connect with a therapist who specializes in attachment or anxiety. That’s not a failure; it’s just getting the right support.
You’re not alone in this, and you absolutely deserve peace, not this constant loop. I’m here for you, and I believe in you.
Thank you so much for your words, i really appreciate it 🙏
Im really scared that if i cut off Access to accounts and all that that I really Lose control, that I wont be able to work at all anymore, i dont wanna feel even worse than i already do, I almost lost myself to this, i dont know what will Happen if i completely lose control if yk what i mean. I have already tried to stalk less... But I just keep getting reminded of her, everything reminds me of her, i just cant stop thinking no matter what I do. No matter where i am.
I wish i could get therapy as i also have many other mental struggles that I cant control... But my Parents dont seem to think its a good idea, they have looked into it 2 years ago, found no available therapy places and stopped looking, when i asked them for it again last year they didnt even try to look into it again, they just dont see to care much. I tried a school counselor too, but it didnt help at all, i dont quite trust her.
I kinda just feel lost, i dont know where to go and what to do with myself or my emotions, its getting too much and im not sure how long i can still survive this
Im very thankful that u too ur time to read and reply, thank you very much <3
I want you to know that I truly understand how you’re feeling. I’ve been through something similar with my own breakup, where I felt abandoned and didn’t get the closure I needed. It was really tough when everything just stopped, no explanation at all and whenever I thought I felt him pulling away. He promised me that he wasn’t yet just a day or two later he went no contact But I’ve found that focusing on my own well-being, and taking small steps to care for myself, has made a difference. And while it’s hard to find the motivation sometimes, exploring new hobbies or reconnecting with things you love can bring small moments of relief and distraction. and it’s normal to struggle with that feeling of loss and lack of control.You’re not losing control by cutting contact you’re actually taking control back. Right now the checking, the hoping, the what‑ifs… those are the things controlling you. Letting go isn’t giving up. It’s choosing yourself. that cutting off all contact feels scary because it feels like losing control, like that would make it “final,” and a part of you still has hope. That feeling is so normal. When you’re hurting, even the tiniest bit of hope can feel safer than facing the truth. But that hope is coming from the attachment injury, not from anything real that she’s offering you.
And even though it feels terrible, this is ultimately for your own good If she was the kind of friend who could let someone else speak for her, insult you, block you, and disappear without giving you clarity then it’s honestly better that this happened now instead of later
The fact that you’re on 7 Cups actually shows a lot of strength. It means you’re reaching out instead of shutting down. That’s not something everyone can do. It shows you want to heal, even if you don’t feel ready or motivated every day.
Amazing clarity. You have worked a lot on yourself. Kudos
I'm so sorry that's happening to you. It's mot easy to loose a friendship 🫂 Is there anyone close to you physically that you can talk to, spend time with?
Leo, lot of hugs. Omg! I wish I could take away your pain. You are dealing with so much at a tender age.
I am sad that therapy is not an option though you need hand holding right now.
I suggest get support with a listener here. Maybe create a routine and make listener as your accountability partner.
@thyre has given you a really good roadmap to follow. Please keep sharing here.
