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Kinda need some advice, relationship problems

User Profile: selfdisciplinedChestnut9003

So im 14, my boyfriend is 13, we barely talk, I like him, but just we aren't talkative, like we've never had a actual conversation ever, but he's really sweet and acts insecure so i feel like im *** for wanting to break up kinda, my mom and bsf tell me to break up with him, I kinda do but kinda dont.

Well my bsfs brother is 17, he's only 3 years older, we both like each other, the relationship isn't freaky at all, I actually like him, I feel like I can talk to him, he has my heart racing and I always feel happy around him, my bsf said she dont care if we together BUT, she said in the future, she said she dont want us to date rn, I get the age difference, but its only 3 years, and I get that its a different age group, but it just feels different, like im generally interested about him, what he has to say, and just HIM, he texts me a lot, just like a hi or how was your day, and thats so much more then my boyfriend does.

And I feel like it's wrong for me to like someone else because my bf posts about being insecure and *** so I feel *** for my feelings,

My bf is my longest relationship to, its only 4 months tho, but he's the only one I've had for Hollidays and he gives me gifts and *** so i just feel so bad,

I just need some advice, idk

1
User Profile: CalmRosebud
CalmRosebud April 14th

@selfdisciplinedChestnut9003

It is completely normal to feel torn when your heart is telling you one thing and your feelings of loyalty are telling you another, especially at 14 when emotions feel so big and intense. Please don’t feel guilty for having feelings; you cannot control who you connect with, and feeling happy and connected to someone is a good thing to want, not something to feel bad about.

That feeling of guilt often comes from being a kind person who doesn't want to hurt someone else, particularly someone you care about who might be insecure or sensitive. But in the long run, staying in a relationship where you don't communicate and don't feel "seen" isn't fair to him, and it certainly isn't fair to you. A relationship should make you feel happy, supported, and excited, not guilty, and it’s okay to acknowledge that four months was a great learning experience, even if it’s time to move on.

The fact that you can actually have conversations and feel that genuine happiness with your best friend's brother is a sign of what a healthy connection feels like, and you deserve that kind of communication. While it is wise to be cautious about age differences, 14 and 17 is a common, though still very different, place to be in life, so it is important to take things slow and ensure you both respect your friend’s feelings. The best path forward is to be honest with your current boyfriend in a kind, direct way, not over text, explaining that you feel you aren't compatible and need to be single, allowing yourself to start a new chapter without the weight of guilt.

Love and Courage,
Calm Rosebud 🕊️🌹

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