Morning

Just woke up, I felt just a little bit better than the other days of this week. The guilt came back however, when I thought about my future. Getting someone to love and have a partner for the rest of your life, living happily, I feel unworthy of that and I am starting highschool tomorrow, I am not prepared at all. I lost myself this month, the joy I used to get in small kind gestures now make me cry because of guilt rather than happiness. I can't think of the good things I did back then since my head is pinned on the bad things I didn't think of as bad back then. The reason I feel guilt is because I feel like I became who I hated the most, even uncousciously. I hope winter break comes soon so I can work on forgiving myself without worrying about school.