Moving forward
Hey peeps.
So, I dont know how to really articulate what's in my mind & heart but I'm going to try. I know that no one can tell me how to proceed but I need to acknowledge where I am and be honest with myself I order to really know how to move on.
Since 2021 I've been searching & working on the source of a deep life changing anxiety & fear,depression, a compulsive beahviors.
While I've made progress, I still have some things ahead of me.
Fo over a year I've "hidden" at home, venturing out very little and I am really struggling with putting myself into those uncomfortable situatins like going to public places & gatherings or even a walk around the corner.
I am in therapy and also meet with a physciatrist who did prescribe meds I'm a little scared to tak daily. ( I did try it & did get relief but also felt drowsy & had "brain zap" like sensation.
I've not been given a name or anything of what I'm going through, though it feels like high anxiety that maybe presents itself like agoraphobia due to the way I kind of started laying low at home for so long
I know I probablt should take this medication and try it for a while, give it time and see if it really will make a difference. But I'm scared, I have things I have to do far away from home and yes, I am scared. Scared down to my insides.
I'm not writing this because I'm giving up or not willing to try and make strides ahead. I'm just saying, I am afraid and I want to get past this.
I want to drive myself to the store and spend as many hours as i need to shopping without a panic attack or several making me want to rush home.
I want to sit down at a table with other adults and not struggle to keep my thoughts straight and have a real conversation.
I want to live a full life without the sensation of disassociationlooming over as though I can't live as I should.
I'm not giving up
I'm just scared today.
I'm trusting in God, and I'm going to keep trying to do what's best. Relying on his strength and not mine.
@NewHorizon5544
it is hard to change habits like venturing out or doing something out of your normal ........
i can see your point with medications as even with some help the other side effects may not be something you can live with but you probably need to take regularly for awhile to see....
sounds like writing this all down is a form of telling yourself you do know what your are doing and i hope you find ways to leave your self imposed exile and get what you want.
@toughTiger6481
Hi there!
Thank you for this !
I am in similar situation as yours, I am 42 and I am not able to move forward I know I have the abilities to achieve what I am longing for but something is holding me back, and I zm stuck at the same situation for many years, and feel lots of fears nside. Really struggling to perk up myself. I have not consulted any therapist yet, may be you can kindly share me what action or activities you have been doing to overcome your difficulties, this way I might get some motivation from you. If there is any hurdle preventing you from achieving your goal, please overcome it thinking that someone like you is waiting for you to follow your path for the same goal. I trust you.
@simi2561
Hi there!
I am sorry to hear you're going through a challenging time as well. I hope you are doing well today
Some things I've been doing are working with a therapist and phsyciatrist as well as a mental health coach with my church. I believe they're helping me identify the roots of the struggles I'm facing and were making progress. Identifying the root of things real helps with knowing how to face them.
I'm praying for you <3
@NewHorizon5544
Never give up :)
My dear.........our emotions are but environmental. If you are feeling depressed.....then you feel hopeless and powerless to change something. What Is that thing? Creating a plan will restore hope and destroy depression completely. As for anxiety.....anxiety arises when we are trying to control the outcome to something....in the case of social anxiety that is the perception and opinion others have of us. In order to be accepted into society. Panic attacks occur when we feel our everything is out of control....and agoraphobia restores control so we feel safe. Feeling safe is our most important emotional need.
@NewHorizon5544 I identify with you, and where I live there aren't many options for medical help either. It feels like things can change at any moment, and I'm really scared of that. I've lost a lot of opportunities in the last three years because of social phobia, but in the last few months, I've been trying to change my perspective. Reading your text made me realize that you've already done the most important thing, which is taking the first step, and that's great! Congratulations! You seem like a wonderful person who will certainly overcome these problems.I identify with you, and where I live there aren't many options for medical help either. It feels like things can change at any moment, and I'm really scared of that. I've lost a lot of opportunities in the last three years because of social phobia, but in the last few months, I've been trying to change my perspective. Reading your text made me realize that you've already done the most important thing, which is taking the first step, and that's great! Congratulations! You seem like a wonderful person who will certainly overcome these problems.