My boyfriend thinks my best friend is a bad influence
As the title suggests my boyfriend doesn’t think my best friend since childhood is a good influence on me and doesn’t want me hanging out with her one on one.
For context: my best friend was dating this guy a couple months ago & they were having a lot of issues (he was very verbally & emotionally abusive & mentally unstable and refused to seek help) & she’s insinuated wanting to talk to other guys/cheat on him (they’ve talked about having an open relationship in the past). I told her it wasn’t a good idea and that I didn’t support her doing it & she listened to me, but my boyfriend overheard this. He has a strong opinion on cheating and started to dislike her for this. My boyfriend and I have only been dating for 6 months so he hasn’t really been around my best friend for very long and only knew her from this and two other instances. I completely agree with his stance on cheating, but I defended my best friends eventual break up with her ex and her moving on from him since. He took this as me choosing her over his feelings and being too defensive but I was just trying to be a good friend and got saddened at the thought of not being able to have her as a friend. We’ve seen each other through all stages of life & partners so now i’m left wondering what i should do.
Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated!
@kelpyz
So she is your best friend that has been through a lot of things with you and he 6 months in he thinks a insinuation is something that might influence you? That says very little about his faith in your judgement.
I do not think the subject matter is enough to support that ....Maybe he needs more time to see her good points and her support for you. I think we all have feelings about that one way or another .........but someone who is overly sensitive IMO may have been cheated on etc. Maybe they have not dealt with it.
@toughTiger6481 thanks for your response!
Yeah he told me that he trusts me, but doesn’t trust her so he doesn’t want me around her. He said that in the future whenever we have children he wouldn’t feel comfortable with her around them & influencing them badly, which hurt me a lot bc i’ve always envisioned her in my life. I think he does need more time being around her I just am afraid of them having a bad relationship bc that’s the last thing i would want.
@chipsandspinachdip
How can he trust her if he barely knows her.... and as for saying what influence she would be down the road to possible children seems self serving as an excuse since people change. sounds like he may have issues she may see and point out to you.
Yeah you know her more than him. That seems like a controlling reed flag regarding him. He doesn't have to accept your decision but should respect it. If he gets defensive let him, put your foot down now about where you stand so he doesn't try and push you over later in life with even more stuff.
