My heart is hurt, please don't leave me alone with all the pain, with all the thoughts.
I'm not okay. Honesty costs too much, and I don't think I am able to pay it. My heart is broken, and I don't know how to heal.
I talked to my teacher. I wanted to tell her the truth, to be honest, as she always wanted us to be honest and tell things to her not to others. But now she is so upset about me. Why? Why she did that? I am hurt. And I think, did I hurt her? Did me hurt someone? I hurt someone? I never forgive myself if do sth, except telling the truth, that hurt someone. I won't. I never meant to hurt her or anything. I wanted to be honest because I thought she would accept, at least she would listen, maybe I really thought better about her, I thought the truth worth it. Does she know how deeply I am hurt? Does she know? I learned that the truth isn't wanted. The thing I never forget is, honesty costs too much. Not everyone wants to hear the truth, even if they say they want.
I'll talk to her some days later and tell her what I meant. But I never forget all these. I know I could have used better words or better time or anything and I am sorry about it. I never meant bad by that. But, why? Why? Why everything is like this? If you pretend, you are good. If you be honest, you are bad. This is the world. This is life, isn't it? You are liked if you be the thing the other person wants. If not, everything changes. Does she know everything? Will she ever know?
Dealing with untreated traumas and everything and a family with toxic behaviors weighs too much for me. And my great fear is becoming someone who continues the cycle that has exist here for years, always being the victim or the monster. I wish one day she understands. And for me, I wish I weren't such fragile and easily break mentally with everything. With everything.
I am hurt, I am hurt, I am hurt, so badly...💔
@moonlightinnight sits beside you and hugs you tightly 💗 the truth sometimes hurts but it's always better to be truthful than lie, even if others can't take it, morals are important 💖 I'm sorry your questioning yourself, and I'm sorry your home life is not a good one🙁 but remember you are not the people who hurt you, you are you always stay true to yourself 💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗
@Tinywhisper11
Thanks for answering🫂🫂 I feel so so bad I wish I could disappear, or I wish a meteorite hitted our school and I won't go to school anymore and face her, or I could scape, just go, go, go, scape from whole the world😥😓🫂🫂🫂💔💔
@moonlightinnight I know it may be scary to go and face another day at school, but it's best to face it tommorow, the quicker you do the less it will play on your mind💖 I do understand the feeling of wanting to dissapear😥 it's not a nice one. But everything is gonna work out ok 💖 hugs you tightly 💗
@Tinywhisper11
🫂🫂🫂😓
@moonlightinnight how are you feeling right now?
@Tinywhisper11
Honestly so awful. I wake up in morning and wish I were sleeping. Wish I could sleep and sleep and not face anything. Wish she knew. Wish sth happen and end this situation, the trauma like the thing happens and happens in our family (when I think of my father, he's like this, the traumas he has made worse than this one) and everything is like a nightmare but it's my life... and thank you for asking. I hope you're better since your injections dear lovely.
@moonlightinnight hugs you tightly 💗 I'm so sorry about all your trauma and the distress your in right now 🙁 I wish I could take it all away from you and make things better 💖 I'm always here for you 💗 and yes thank you I'm feeling much better 💖
@Tinywhisper11
Thank you🫂🫂🫂
@Tinywhisper11 the quicker you do it, the less it will be on your mind, what apt and special advice 🥰
@Amanda84 💖🙂💖
@Amanda84
You're right, Thursday and Friday are our weekend, I hope I'll find the time tomorrow on Saturday, I wanted to talk to her on Wednesday but she said she's in hurry and can't. She wanted to stay in school and does her work for some hours but she didn't want to listen to me💔💔 I hope I'll talk to her soon. Feeling bad everyday💔
@moonlightinnight it's ok to be scared, but it's all gonna be ok 💖💖 you can do this 💖
@moonlightinnight sending you lots of love.
@lovelyMoment32
Thank you🫂🫂🫂🫂
@moonlightinnight 😊
@moonlightinnight
You are absolutely not a bad person for expressing your thoughts and emotions. We all want to be supported, and we all deserve to be. We all deserve to be listened to. Some people aren't ready to hear the truth, and some people aren't able to deal with it. But it's always better to free ourselves than to pretend to be something we're not. You are a strong person for having the courage to express your pain. It's not fair for you to feel bad about it. You have done nothing wrong. You’ve done your part, and you are not responsible for how the other person accepts the truth. Don’t be so hard on yourself, sweetie. You are not alone in this, and if you need a hug, I’m here for you🌺❤️
@Yulianaxxp
Thank you🫂🫂 I wanna talk to her tomorrow if she let me and it's making me feel awfully frightened. I don't know who I am, I don't know who she is. But everything throw me to all the traumas we had, everything repeats and repeats. The thought of have been hurting someone unwantedly is making me feel so bad and sad and as well I wish she were more receptive. 🫂🫂🫂💔💔💔
@moonlightinnight
Sometimes we hurt people unintentionally. But even when we do, it doesn't make us bad people. Sometimes we hurt others to protect ourselves, sometimes because we are just human beings and we can't know everything. Everything is okay, we are still learning. I'm sorry you're going through all of this and feeling so confused. You have the right to feel the way you feel, your feelings are important, and your traumas are valid. Never let anyone make you feel differently or doubt yourself. We cannot change others, and we cannot control the way they act and react. The only thing we can change is our mindset about ourselves and learn to be kind to ourselves🍪
@Yulianaxxp
🫂🫂🫂
❤️ thank you saying into words that I couldn’t explain to the people around me.
Hii.
I talked to her. And maybe everything okay now. I can't describe how relieved I am. So much. Ahhh god.
Thank you so so so much you all supported me tooooo much. Thank you🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
@moonlightinnight
So happy for you 🫂❤️
@Yulianaxxp
Thanks🫂🫂💗
@moonlightinnight
Honesty is the correct choice, you made the correct decision. You have no need to feel sorry for the hurt, for you did nothing wrong.
Her choice to lie and hurt from the position of power is hers & hers alone. She was in error, she should be sorry.
You can't and shouldn't control others, it is not your job; you can't make her sorry. All you can do and all you must do, is forgive her and yourself and move on.
Your value is not determined by whether or not there is justice, remorse &/or closure: Your value, integrity and honesty is yours and yours alone. If they never cared about you or the truth, = then they shouldn't matter to you at all.
@Kisol09Axolotol
Thanks for replying🫂 I wish for the world one day come that in that day truth has become more acceptable, for any of us.❤️❤️