Need encouragement and help navigating life post break up.

@brightLion907

I sorry to hear that you blame yourself like this and it's painful to move on with your life.. Whirlwind relationships like this cause deep emotions,  you are not alone. 

I'm confident your going to get through this, it may not feel like it right now..🌲

@brightLion907

I think distractions can help in the short term, but if the root cause isn’t addressed, the struggle may keep coming back.

I wish you healing from this, and remember you are not alone.⭐

@brightLion907

I hope you're doing well. An unfortunate thing about relationships is that it is very hard to move on immediately, especially if the love you two had for each other was genuine. The details you experience now, the moments and memories you two shared that you still grieve over, is something that will not pass quite easily nor quickly. But, it can be healed within a few weeks/months if you are able to do it correctly! Obviously, the memory of someone may exist for quite some time. But impermanence reaches even memory- therefore, a moment you remember of someone may be gone in a few months, or a year from now. It may hurt one day, but it will not hurt a few weeks from now. The important part to realize is that you have to be open to the outcome of the relationship. It ended the way it did, and you cannot look back on it with regret. Of course, it is acceptable to do so and reasonable, but regret only brings more suffering. The most logical solution for you is to learn how to accept that the relationship ended, and how to learn to treat the memories you have of her with kindness, and warmth in your heart rather than with regret, or guilt. I know how it feels to be in your position. To constantly remember someone you loved dearly, and to try and distract yourself with other things. I want to preface that you should never try to distract yourself from any form of suffering you are going through! Distractions may cause temporary relief, but they will never heal the pain you're going through- because you are not actually facing the root cause of the problem, you are just avoiding it. I did the same thing, but it's not beneficial at all. In fact, it only hurts more. Because when you're out of distractions, you immediately resort back to the same thing- thinking about her and the love you two had, and what you will never be able to have again. Relationships are not in itself bad. You have went through something that can be transformed into the deepest lesson you could ever learn, and that's the most valuable thing to come out of this relationship. The love you two shared for each other is not something you have to "let go" of in  a cold, or distant manner. But rather, something you can let go of with love and acceptance in your heart. Right now, the subject is still heavy and warm. It can be hard to reflect on it properly when you're suffering so much, so don't force or put any pressure on yourself to do so. Just be patient with yourself. When those memories and emotions come up, be patient with them. Observe them but don't actually let any of the emotions you may feel overpower the beauty of the memory. Observe the emotions that may come along too, and learn to let them go. Letting go does not mean you stop caring, but it means you learn to accept and be open to whatever outcome happens. It's just like when you hold something in your hand. Naturally, we hold it with our palm closed, since we're afraid of losing it. But you can still hold onto something even by letting go. When you open your palm, you're still holding on to it, but you're no longer restraining it. You're letting it wander freely, and you're letting yourself be open to the outcome of whatever it decides to do. Ultimately, that is the exact same thing you want to do with the pain of the relationship right now. That is the goal for you! It takes some time, but the important thing to note is that you should be patient and kind to yourself. Do not rush yourself through the healing process, nor distract yourself with anything that might only hurt you more. Memories are a painful topic, but eventually, when you look at something so much, you start to look at it with love and tenderness in your heart. The happiness you felt in those moments you spent with her is not something you have to be regretful of. You can still feel that happiness in your heart, and you can learn to wish that she experiences happiness in her life- without actually holding on to any false hopes or expectations, or any thoughts that cause you to suffer. Let go of the things that make you suffer by recognizing the nature of those things. These emotions, and everything you feel right now are temporary. They are not permanent and by nature have to pass away. They come, and they will go as well. We, as human beings, reject the nature of life, therefore, we end up suffering more because we hold onto things thats very nature is to leave. You two were in a relationship, but now you're not. The expectancy may have been to be together for a long time, but the nature of the bond you two had was to come together, and to come apart at some point. It's nothing personal, but that's just the way life is. Do not hold onto any expectations you may have had aside from the simple reality of it all. It is very simple, but hard to put into action.

For the most part, just be patient with yourself. Give it time. When thoughts and emotions come up, observe them without reacting to them, and learn to let go of things that you still may love. You are able to use that love and transform it into compassion for other beings. Learn to accept what happened and with time, you will start to wish her happiness even if you two are not together.

I wish you the very best. Take care of yourself! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

You’re going through a process of grief. There will be anger, sadness, regret and a struggle to have back what you lost. You will experience every emotion in the cycle of grief, but you will also, in time, experience acceptance. You will experience freedom once again. You will experience happiness again. All hope is not lost, even though it may seem that way. I hope you can find some peace in these words. 🫂🫂🫂