Need help making sense of this
Have you ever liked someone even though you knew they weren’t right for you? How did you handle those feelings without letting them make your decisions?
Sometimes you meet someone and, logically, you know they’re just not good for you. There are so many things about them that don’t align with what you want, and honestly, they’re not even your type in most ways.
But somehow, your feelings don’t seem to care about logic. 😭
You can recognize all the reasons why someone isn’t right for you and still find yourself thinking about them, missing them, or feeling drawn toward them. And that can be so confusing because part of you is like, “Girl, what are you even doing?” while another part just… can’t help it.
I’m starting to realize that feelings aren’t always something we consciously choose. But acting on those feelings is a choice.
Maybe you don’t have to force yourself to stop liking someone immediately. Maybe you can simply acknowledge the feeling without letting it decide what you do next.
Have you ever liked someone even though you knew they weren’t good for you or weren’t your type at all? How did you deal with it?
Hi @Ayurabloom77 ✨ May I kindly suggest that you feel the feeling? ☺️✨ It happened a few times to me and I just let myself like the person or be attracted to that person - it’s nice to like someone, even though we don’t really know why… I feel you can’t decide what to do next based on liking someone or not… those decisions are yours and yours only 😊 Sending lots of good vibes ✨
@EnlightenedArtist
Thank you I think that’s exactly where I’m confused right now. I’m trying to understand what I’m feeling without overthinking it, and honestly, I don’t even know what I want to do with these feelings yet. Maybe I just need to let them exist for a while without trying to figure everything out.
@Ayurabloom77
Feelings and falling for someone is not a plan ... it often happens that it does not align with what we thought we were looking for.
People handle that in different ways ... some is fake feelings for a type and be unhappy or change you plans to find a partner that you have real feelings for. Real feeling and connection are far more important than trying to fit a type.
@toughTiger6481
Yeah, I honestly don’t know either I’m so confused about whether what I’m feeling is genuine or if I’m just getting attached to the idea of someone. That’s probably what makes it scary I can’t exactly plan or reason my way through feelings. I guess I need to give myself time and see whether the connection feels real rather than forcing myself to label it.
What worked for me was just ignoring the person until it fully sunk in
@Playerfourdollars
I’ve actually been trying that I’ve been ignoring him for almost 3 months, and I haven’t even seen him during that time, but somehow I’m still struggling with the feelings. I really thought time and distance would make it disappear, but apparently my brain didn’t get the memo lol.
It is very hard to fight feelings, as they’re not managed by logics . What I do is I focus on self-love at these moments, because ultimately we just want this person to return our feelings which they’re not capable of, for many reasons, obviously. Ask yourself what is it that you want from this person? You could get yourself a massage, or coffee in bed in the morning, flowers, a deep conversation with a friend/relative, register on a dating app just to get likes & attention 😁
@quickwittedBranch9727
Yeah, I understand what you mean. I do prioritize self-love and take care of myself, but honestly, the thought of dating someone else or finding another partner doesn’t even cross my mind. This is the first time I’ve ever felt something like this, so I think that’s why it feels so confusing and difficult for me. I’m not necessarily looking for someone else I’m just trying to understand what I’m feeling and how to let it exist without losing myself in it.
I would try to acknowledge the feeling and ask it what is it trying to tell you. It likely is not to be with that person but maybe there is something else that is worth noticing.
@pinkCherry1616
Yeah, maybe that's what I need to do instead of constantly trying to figure out whether I love him or not. Maybe the feeling is trying to tell me something about myself rather than about him. I'll try to understand it instead of fighting it.
Sometimes I think about the guy who lied on me and crossed my boundaries with "romantic" feelings behind them. I never understood why until know. I just let myself feel those feelings without acting on them
@Iwuznothere
Maybe that's what I'm learning too. I don't necessarily have to act on every feeling or turn it into a relationship just because it's strong. I can acknowledge that I feel something, let it exist, and still choose what I want to do with it. Maybe understanding the feeling is more important than trying to get rid of it.... I'm really struggling to understand if i feel anything or not but idk
@Ayurabloom77 I would suggest that you might be seeking validation because you haven't found other options. This individual could be a target or a narcissist attempting to manipulate you. If they are unsuitable and there are clear reasons for incompatibility, then the situation is inherently problematic. Experiencing a relationship or going through these events does not diminish the fundamental issues. Ultimately, you would simply discover the difficulties through adverse experience. Would you prefer to recognize this early, or learn it the hard way?
@lightPark8914
Yeah, that's something I've been thinking about too. I don't want to romanticize him just because I have strong feelings. From what I actually know, he was confident, very social, talked easily with me, asked about my interests more than once, remembered little things, and seemed genuinely attentive. He also respected my rejection and didn't pressure me afterward, which I appreciate.
But I also don't know him deeply enough to know what he's really like. I can't tell whether he was genuinely interested, naturally like this with everyone, or whether there are sides of his personality I've never seen. So maybe the feelings are real, but that doesn't automatically mean he's the right person for me. I think I need to separate how I feel about him from who he actually is.
