Need sum love
TW- panic, depression, health, mention of trauma and self harm
I’m usually not this vulnerable on this site and I’m sorry that this is so long. I just need some perspectives from people that might’ve gone through at least one thing that I’m going through right now.
I’m stuck in my past and I’m worried about my future and I’m trying so hard to stay present
In February 2025 I had an injury that caused me to need neck surgery. I had the neck surgery in May thankfully, I’m doing better, but that journey was long and scary things happened in the surgery that I had to stay in the hospital longer than anticipated. The tightness on my neck after the surgery just brought back memories of trauma that I’ve gone through. it brought out a meeting needing help from other people a place of helplessness I couldn’t bend I couldn’t lift I couldn’t twist. I returned to my job like they said and when I got there, I was so frightened. I was so frightened that I was gonna re-enter myself and I struggled with work. I struggled with every pain there might be something wrong. I am now pain-free. I’m working on strengthening and I’ve moved forward with that.
In April I had a daughter who suffered with seizures due to substance use. I convinced her to go into rehab. She did that and things were good in September. She tried to take her own life. She was in the ICU for a week every day I would go there every day I would call. I would check in on her. There was a constant let her be OK please I begged for her life and didn’t take care of my own and once again I lived in fear.
I made the choice to finally find a new job. It was such a transition that some of you may know taking on a new job is not easy. I had to go without work for a while because of everything because of my own mental health because of my daughters, I’m finally packing work with a job that I love but my nervous system doesn’t think everything‘s OK yet. I struggle with emotions.
I can’t seem to get myself straight. It’s a look back. I think that this happened a year ago had to not be where I want to be right now.
I enjoy recreational activities. I enjoy going shopping even grocery shopping. Sometimes I like to bake. I like to organize I like to do DIY things I’ve taken on a new hobby of crocheting. I love to be around friends and I’ve isolated myself because I just don’t have things together I don’t want people to see you constantly ask what’s wrong cause there’s so much wrong right now.
Today I struggle because I called out of work because I woke up gagging so sick to my stomach because of anxiety and as I sit here for the last hour covered in my tears, I just wanna know how have you gotten your motivation back how have you gotten your joy back? How do you navigate through tough emotions I love you all. Thank you for being here.
@peachThinker662
I'm proud of your strength, for being vulnerable 💚
You are a beautiful person and a great mother.
And you've been through so much.
Between loss.
Between the worry with your daughter.
Your surgery.
And work.
It's ok to not feel ok.
You've alot to process.
Take your time.
And never feel guilty for how you feel 💚🤗
@Amanda84
i just want to be BETTER than I am
I know Ive made strides when I look back
and now a medication switch 😩 I’m so tired of difficult
I want smooth sailing
I know sometimes we gotta go through 💩 to get to the good but I’ve had enough 💩
thank you for always being there ❤️
you always comment on my posts with encouragement
@peachThinker662
I understand that completely. There's only so much we can take, before we are just like, I don't want any complications anymore, just smooth sailing. I get you 💖
@Amanda84
yes! 🙌
@peachThinker662
Firstly reaching out in this way shows your inner strength and is admirable.
I can empathise with so much of your post as I'm struggling with PTSD for health related reason, changed career to reduce risk of recurrence, isolated myself for a few years to avoid being a burden to others and my biggest issue is fear of the future as risk will increase.
I haven't got a magic solution, but I do feel empowered in the present by actively managing the immediate risk which provided I maintain it provides some respite. I've only been on 7 Cups since Xmas time but talking more openly about it on forums, listening to the support from others is helping me process it and at least easing the loneliness at times.
After both of my pulmonary embolisms (blood clots) in lungs i was forced into listening to my body very carefully and just taking very small incremental steps through lengthy recoveries both time. A week with a very mild bought of Covid late 2020, caused a lot of pain and discomfort with my lungs and a further nine months of gradual recovery. I don't have flashbacks and prior to opening up through 7-Cups very rarely spoke or even thought about it, the incidents themselves were in the past, my present is affected but only in terms of managing risk of recurrence unless a spanner is thrown into the works, for me it's the future where the anxiety is crippling my sense of purpose and direction. Sharing through Cups is helping, I'm considering therapy hoping to learn tools that i can commit to practicising that might make a difference.
From your post I get the impression you are as strong as I am, keep talking amd listening, small steps !!
@RunningMachine
Health concerns are rough. They are life changing. I appreciate you emphasizing my strength, most times, I can’t see it.
Sometimes I just want BIG steps—-most times actually!
@peachThinker662
'Rome wasn't built in a day' be kind to yourself, I'm still learning, small steps are better than none at all 😉
hugs <3 Cool new pfp btw! <3
Thanks lovey.
A great friend on here made it for me ❤️
Hi
Motivation is the toughest. Physical movement has the most effect. Energy begets energy.
Joy is about a gratitude list every day at least three things. A what went well today list at night is a good idea too.
Emotions are complicated.
I use Eden Energy Medicine and Emotional Freedom Technique effectively yet there are always unexpected things coming up to challenge my balance.
I hope you do well!
💗🌸💗
@Sedtzl1
thank you for these suggestions 💛
I’ll have to give them a try
Wow. It’s safe to say you’ve been through A LOT. And it seems like it’s taken a beating on your nervous system, constantly assessing to see if you are safe. And worrying about your ability to provide at the same time. It’s no wonder you were chronically stuck in fight-or-flight, and some of the many intense emotions likely weren’t considered safe to be processed in the moment. So it makes a lot of sense that you’re “stuck in the past” and feelings are difficult for you right now.
To relate to you a bit, this last year for me has been full of a lot of stress and uncertainty as well. My now ex-partner got into a very bad work accident and I was alongside him in his surgeries, recovering and mental health struggle. It was a mental health struggle for me as well and brought up a lot of my past trauma and abuse. Some of it was finally able to be processed, some got re-suppressed when I was feeling unsafe.
So I’m telling myself this, as much as I’m telling you: Be patient with yourself. You’ve been through a lot. I know it brings up grief that almost nothing went according to plan. The sooner you can accept this, in waves, the more peace you can give yourself.
And you’re not alone. You reaching out shows your subconscious that you matter, that you want change, and most importantly, that you’re ready to change. Now be patient because the steps will be baby steps for a while until you feel safe again.
@Roro358
i could totally relate with what you said. Thank you for being a kind voice 💕💕
definitely waves
i never realized that PTSD could do this. Not that it takes it away but it allows me to be more understanding and compassionate to myself
i do hope you are able to do the same
@peacjThinker662
@Roro358
I'm still Bea to 7Cups, it's taking sone getting used to see people so supportive and encouraging each other, a joy to see.
@peachThinker662
My dear friend peach, I am so sorry that you are struggling so much. You have always put your family first and taken care of them. Even during your most difficult times, you forced yourself to continue doing what you have always done. I can only imagine the pain, suffering and trauma that you have endured. While you were still trying to heal physically and emotionally, your daughter was in the hospital. With so much worry and stress about your daughter's recovery, you were not able to allow your body and mind to continue to heal the way it needs to. I am so happy that your daughter had a full recovery. Please do not put so much pressure on yourself. You deserve to put yourself first and take the time you need to process all that you have been through. Please take the time and steps necessary for you for recover. God bless, comfort and heal you. Sending love and hugs. 💖🫂
@sabeyesofblue3535
you are so knowledgeable. while going through IT I couldn’t see it. I was so focused on everyone else, not me, and that lead to a panic cycle. The food, house, money, work, etc etc. gotta survive!! What I did was wipe myself out. 😩 I’m hoping to have a little more control of myself, my thoughts and guilt free rest. Lots of love to you ❤️
@peachThinker662
That is what happens to those of us who have always put everyone else before our own needs. I wish I were physically closer to you to help you through this difficult time. I am here whenever you need a listening ear. Please be good to yourself. God bless you always.🥰
@sabeyesofblue3535
thank you ❤️❤️
@peachThinker662
@peachThinker662
@peachThinker662 I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that 😟 I love you, and I'm here for you 💖
