Not allowing myself to date.
I find it hard to trust people; to believe in people, to believe in myself.
I am afraid to believe I'll ever be wanted. I am afraid of broken relationship and I'll be left to pick up the broken pieces. I am afraid of what if I don't love the him enough. What if I hurt him because I no longer see the value in our relationship. So I choose to run. I think he is nice, great and amazing. Even the way he talks stir up a spark of warmth - Hold on. On second thought, maybe I'm just gullible. He is honestly a great guy but my fear is so big I'd rather say no and walk away.
I cannot imagine a future with him or with any guy. I can desire one, doesn't mean I can imagine one. My fear speaks to me. It speaks of fail relationship and broken promise. It speaks of how I could be hurt when I am too deeply attach and how I could hurt the other. It speaks of how I am just not good enough and he is too good and deserve someone better.
I am afraid I may love too hard; be too attached. I am afraid I'll be hurt. I am afraid I'll inflict pain.
It just feel easier to run away; to deny myself a dating relationship. My fear tells me it is sad but it is safer.
@Mdreaming101
Being afraid to love and be be loved is normal because to really love IS a risk of being hurt ...... there is no way around it ... no safe type person or situation. waiting for that you will be alone
ever been to an amusement park and just walked around because the rides all seem scary and risk of injury .... (there is always that chance ) but the line for the fast roller coaster is so long because the thrill no matter if it is short lived is worth it.
i will tell you the person or persons as love does come by again ....
i did not see anything but friend ship at first....... but the bond is not only attraction and desire .........
Tomorrow is never promised.......... so when you look at someone and think can i see this 10-20-30 years down the road of course not ......
in that time both of you will have grown and changed ...... if you are in a partnership you can grow and change together and yes sometimes you grow apart but in general the good time is worth it