Sad vent
Honestly I’m not even really sure where to start, all I know is lately I’ve been feeling really bad.. really empty.. really stuck.
Not sure if it’s the weather.. or idk but It’s like my brain has a cloud over it and it’s getting really hard to keep up with all the responsibilities constantly being thrown at me.
in my day to day life.. I notice a pattern.. same things, same thoughts, same feelings everyday.. same situation. Maybe it isn’t the fact that it’s getting to be too much but more so I’m just getting more and more tired of it.
Everyday for me feels empty. No friends, no personal connections. which honestly having those things make things like work or school a little better.
my family and i are close but in an unconventional way. Not in the way where we share our innermost feelings and thoughts.
So overall I never really had anyone to talk to or laugh with..
I guess sometimes I wish I did. Wish that I didn’t have to be the one making moves all the time in my life. Or be the one responsible all the time for my happiness or bringing joy into my life. Or even be my own shoulder.
In being alone for all this time, I guess I learned to adapt. Learned to be my own friend (somewhat) or at least be independent enough to get stuff done that I needed to survive.
But I guess emotionally I’m just tired of being on survival mode. I honestly feel pretty bored.. empty. Almost like a robot or zombie.
I could actively choose to get up and dance and listen to music, but I guess what I’m saying is that if I didn’t actively try and do these things I fear that nothing in my life would make me even want to dance. If I don’t find a funny movie, there won’t be anything to make me laugh.
Basically it just feels like in me doing little things like watching a funny show when I need a little laugh, are all just little ways of me saving myself. Me trying to hold on. Not to leave. But if I don’t, and I let myself fall into that place, what will save me? What will remind me of that joy.
Im tired of feeling like everything I’m doing is just to survive.. not to live. I feel like I’m drowning.
This isn’t to say that I wish for some knight and shining armor to come save me.. but I guess I’m just hoping for some kind of light.. to keep my head above water. Because things are really starting to seem pointless.
Black and white and grey.
I really do wonder. Is it the world that has many of us in this day to day cycle or is it just my life.
Everything you says is exactly how I feel
@evilmonkey
hey, thanks for taking the time to reply. it really helps to know I’m not the only one. I hope things get better for us.
This is exactly how I felt for over a decade 😔 @lovingCup504 "I'm tired of feeling like everything I’m doing is just to survive...not to live" is literally what went through my head so many times. It was exhausting waking up every day just to work to keep myself physically alive.
I wish I had advice, but I'm not sure what helped me would work for others. My cat and music kept me alive day to day, but improving a health related issue and my own mind set helped me in the long term I think.
@CrochetingCheetah
Hey, no advice needed, but thanks for replying. I have to say it feels really nice to feel understood. So sorry you can relate to something like this tho. But just like you, overtime I have realized that little joys in life really do have the power to provide comfort in such dark times. I’m really happy you found something to keep you going cause trust me I know how hard that can be. I’ve been thinking of getting a cat. Their so soft lol
@lovingCup504 Hi. I’m sorry you are feeling like this. It sounds like you’re saying you feel you’re just surviving when you want to feel like you’re thriving and to have human connection. I understand feeling disconnected from family. I understand not having people to laugh with and confide in and how that makes it necessary to expend extra energy to support and entertain ourself. 7 Cups can kind of provide a surrogate.
Am sorry to hear that but remember we all have been there once, but what matters is how you approach it and one day we gonna help someone going through that same situation be strong
@lovingCup504 I'm new here but I know what your going through, we are all here for you and im always happy to talk to anyone
Welcome! I am too! Sometimes it helps to journal about stuff. I taljeevtontgus really great listener online here and what a difference! I feel so much better! Midwestern is part of her name.
Do whatever you can to feel happy or good. For me, whatever mood I'm in, the Bee Gees make me feel good. Try it! 🙂