Should I drop this therapist?
I've been seeing this dbt therapist for about 2 months now. I love individual therapy with him, but it seems like if I want to see him individually I HAVE to also do the dbt group. Dbt group has consistently been a wrecking ball like no other to my already unstable state (dealing with SH/drinking/anorexia/su*c*dality)- the group leader is an incompetent teacher, doesn't actually listen and give thoughtful responses, the dbt skills we are forced to go over are not relevant to me, I've already gone through the whole manual myself, I've already learned dbt when I was inpatient for months, I have almost nothing in common with my fellow group members, and the 2 hour long boredom session is currently the most dangerous breeding ground for depression/self-destructive urges in my life right now. When I brought up my problems with group, my therapist told me this is a great opportunity to use skills. So, I've tried to cope and sit with my feelings in group with my coloring books and muscle relaxation, but it doesn't work. Dbt group is unengaging and irrelevant and it makes me angry because I'm doing my best to add things into my life that make me feel happy for once and then dbt group comes around every week to freaking wreck my stabilization throughout the day (which usually is pretty good!!). My individual therapist keeps telling me to stick with the group and use coping skills and no I can't just see him individually and we talk about me not wanting to do group and I agree to try group for another week again and again and again- when should I just freaking STOP??
@determinedSea4370
If you do not see improvement or this working you are the boss in this the therapist works for you....
Have you asked them to clearly define what benefit do they assume this group setting provides. Not it is just part of plan you have to do it.... that is not a benefit. You have already explained how this is not working for you. Research or come right out and ask for a recommendation for another therapist This will show you are serious about wanting to get a benefit from time spent and this group is a waste of your time.
@determinedSea4370
Typically, group is recommended along with individual therapy when it comes to DBT. While it's a recommendation, we have to remember that there's not a one shoe fits all in therapy. You're allowed to say, "I can't go to group anymore. Recommend me to another therapist if you can't treat me." You're allowed to speak up for yourself AND it sounds like he's violating your boundaries with disrespect and indignity.
As a therapist, he should receive training on this. Upholding a client's dignity is highly important. He can recommend going to group, but if it doesn't work for you, then he needs to help you find alternatives. Even if his resources are limited on the therapy side. That's not your fault and therapy shouldn't feel like a punishment when you're trying to heal.
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@determinedSea4370
I think this matter may require maintaining a very careful balance.
On one hand, I agree with people saying the therapist should respect your boundaries and a very important part of your recovery is starting to trust your own feelings and judgement.
On the other hand, in another thread you have mentioned you were struggling with addiction and relapse, so that could be crucial to make sure your leaving the group - or the therapy at all - was not a kind of self-sabotaging.
Anyhow, in my view if your therapist's attitude is non-negotiable and they don't want to even consider any alternatives, that could be advisable to find another therapist.
I believe "one pattern fits all" is not true.
