Spilling the Tea

I am here because I underwent a spinal surgery in May. I’ve been out of work since Feb, with moments of attempting to go back recently, that led me to quit. Though I do have another job in the making. 

The days when I’m home I’m filled with anxiety and tears. The days I go do things I’m exhausted. 

I feel like I’m failing in every aspect and wonder where did my life go? 

Where did my free spirit go? 

I don’t know if I’m victimizing myself and just falling into a crevice. 

I found photos last night of when I ran 5k obstacle course. I was covered in the thickest mud that stained my skin for a few days. Biggest glowing smile on my face. I accomplished it. It was one of the toughest years I thought I had had. There’s was grief, life, and disappointments. That was what I needed. I was a warrior. 

I need that h hope that things are going to improve. The anxiety with decrease and the energy will increase. 😢