Taking My Power Back—One Gentle Step at a Time

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share a bit about where I’m at in my healing journey. I recently left an abusive relationship with someone who was my “favorite person,” which made it incredibly hard to walk away. I still love him, and part of me misses him every day. But I’ve had to face the reality that love isn’t enough when there’s abuse, instability, and emotional chaos.

What’s made it even harder is that he keeps telling me I’m his everything, that he’ll never heal without me, and that I’m all he has. Sometimes he spirals and fixates on me in a way that feels overwhelming and obsessive. It messes with my head because I still care, but I know I can’t sacrifice myself to fix someone who’s hurting me. I’m trying to separate his pain from my responsibility—and that’s been one of the hardest lessons.

I struggle with BPD and anxiety, and I often feel like I’m behind in life. I didn’t get a typical teen experience, and I’ve been in back-to-back relationships since I was young. Now at 27, I’m finally starting to ask myself: Who am I really, outside of survival mode and other people’s needs?

Right now, I’m focusing on small steps. I made a healing photo album on my phone, I’ve been consistently journaling for one month as of yesterday, and I even went out for boba by myself as part of my therapy homework. I’m slowly learning how to self-soothe, build confidence, and trust that I can create a life I feel safe in.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days I want to go back just to make the pain stop. But I keep reminding myself that choosing myself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. If you’re going through something similar, you’re not alone.