The situation of not being able to express how you feel Day 1 of The one-week program
📅 Day 1: Understanding the Wall (What is Alexithymia?)
Welcome to Day 1 of our journey together. If you are here, you know the frustration of having a heart full of feelings but a mouth that feels completely glued shut. You might feel like you are "broken" or that you lack emotional depth. But today, we want to introduce you to a word that might change how you see yourself: Alexithymia.
Alexithymia is a psychological term that literally translates to "no words for emotions." It is not a disease or a mental illness; it is a trait where a person struggles to identify, name, and describe their own emotions.
When you have alexithymia, you might feel a heavy sensation in your chest or a knot in your stomach. Your body knows it is feeling something, but your brain cannot translate that physical feeling into a word like "sadness," "anger," or "betrayal." Instead, you just feel "blank," "bad," or completely overwhelmed.
Please know this: You are not empty. You are just experiencing a translation disconnect. Your emotions are there; we just need to help your brain learn the language to interpret them.
🔍 Deep Dive Explanation
Why does this happen? For some, it is biological. For many others, it is a trauma response or a learned behavior. If you grew up in an environment where expressing emotions was met with anger, rejection, or neglect, your brain learned a survival trick: If I don't recognize my feelings, they can't hurt me, and I won't get into trouble. Over time, that protective wall became so thick that now, even you can't see over it.
❓ Reflection Questions for the Comments
• Did the word Alexithymia resonate with you? How does it feel to know there is a scientific name for what you experience?
• When you are upset, do you feel it more in your mind (thoughts) or in your body (stomach aches, tight chest, headaches)?
@cheerfulKiwi1776
Hey! This helped me a lot, thanks.
Yes I think the word resonates with me on some level.
I feel it in my thoughts and body both. My thoughts get darker when I'm upset and sometimes I feel cold.
Keep up the good work friend! 💖🫂
@Luminity125
Thank you for your nice words! I get how you feel and thanks for opening up frienddd! Take care. Day 2 is already out!
Not sure if alexithymia resonates with me..but whenever I m upset I feel it in my chest and stomach.. and also in my mind
@bobaa13
Oh I get ot. It's okay if the word doesnt resonate with you. Totally understandable everything else you say. Thanks for opening up🩵✨️
I'm not the best person to answer these questions as I do not have Alexithymia but, I can relate with not being able to express my emotions from time to time. Or I might just be on the lower side of the spectrum, I'm not too sure.
It's really nice to know that a term like this exists, it feels less isolating knowing that people can relate to this type of experience.
I think that when I am upset, I feel it both in my mind and body. I think a lot when I'm mad and I get this weird energy that leaves me drained later or drains me immediately. Kind of like this hot feeling.
@Paliloveyourself
I get it. Thanks for commenting. Please check day 2 of the program too!
Sort of does resonate with me.
And when i feel a surge of emotions i usually feel it in my throat or chest i guess.. depends in the emotion.
@Fatimaishere
I see. Thanks for opening up. Check day 2 too🩵
@Fatimaishere
I see. Tha KS for opening up. Check day 2 too🩵
@cheerfulKiwi1776
I’ve heard of this term before, and I know I have been in this state for a super long time. However, I don't have the strength to change it. Many life experiences have also led me to activate a "blocking mechanism," which helps me stay calm and avoid conflicts. However, I haven't experienced happiness or found a safe place in this world for a long time.
When I'm upset in a crowd, I don't move or speak; I just try to stay calm, fight back my tears, and leave as quickly as I can. If I'm alone, I feel uncomfortable, cry uncontrollably without knowing why, or just go to sleep. I feel it more in my body.
@aquaGrapes718
I m sorry you go through all those things. I wish you get better soon enough. I know you can make it. I believe in you🩵.
Please stay safe and take care. Day 2 is launched and day 3 will launch today. Thanks for opening up to something so heavy. Thanks for trusting me enough to do so.🩵
@cheerfulKiwi1776
therapist i had talked about Alexithymia and said with me it a trauma one due to was not allowed to voice emotions as when did they tell me i was not feeling that way then tell me how i was feeling so it always was confusing so over time even started 2nd guessing what really was feeling but even within that had compassion for others but it was covered over by the trauma i was going through for many many years
so this not new for me but well been through many mental health workers due to the place i go and moving over time too
@HopeWithinDarkness
I get it. Thanks for telling us this. Take care
I have never heard of this word before but I do believe it helps to name what you have or are going through. For me right now its all in my poor stomach-gut. My anxiety (nerves) makes my stomach act up, which then provokes a migraine. Its a terrible cycle to be in.....
@sammylou5
It indeed is. I totally get how you feel. Thanks for opening up. Wishing you the best🩵
Reflection Questions:
Alexthymmia does resonate with me sometimes. Having a word for it makes me feel less alone. When I am upset it is usually in my mind in the form of racing thoughts. This is a learned behavior from my childhood. Any emotion was met with anger, minimization, or judgement. Often told I was overreacting especially from my dad. I have come to an acceptance that my dad is incapable of dealing with any emotion and it has nothing to do with me. I have learned to only talk to my dad when in a calm state.