Tired....
I am not a bad person. I have never wanted anything wrong to happen for someone. I always talk nicely to people no matter how frustrated or low I am feeling that day. But there's really no value to kindness. I am always considered a liar or someone who has a lot of attitude. When I try to defend myself, they think I am talking back.
This whole thing might sound like a stretch to a lot of you. But I am just sick of hearing that If I try to share my feelings then I am victimizing myself or blackmailing ppl. Where do I draw the line with all this? How many times do I have to hear this before a day comes where I break so much that I cannot pick myself back up? I try not to defend myself anymore, but my self respect doesn't let me sit quiet. But there's no point anymore....
I am not a bad person I can bet on that. I'm just too tired. I have no energy left to keep explaining to everyone. I am so sad since the past few days that everyone can notice and ask me if I'm ok. Where do I go? What do I do? How can I stop letting this affect me more? Or should I give up?
I really understand you, truly. My advice is that try the opinions of people don't affect you too much. I know it is easier to say than to do, but you need to try. I have felt the same way so many times!! Friends say that I have low sefsteem and I'm stubborn and vehement, but the reality is that there are many kinds of characters and people quieter and calmer have much easier life and are lucky. The others as us have yo fight everyday to not offend when taking or explaining something. As a result I decided practice meditation to be calmer, and speak slowlier to have time tò think what I am going to say next, not argue when I see that it is not an important issue for me and not to talk seriously with people who are not mportan to me, and if they are, I let them know in advance that I am not angry, it's only that I am enthusiastic in expressing my points of view and I't's not personal.
I Hope It helps you from the heart