Vent kind of || Dealing with no contact
hi I’m new here so this is going to be my first post. So let me know if I did anything wrong because I don’t know how to manage this website. I really need help with managing all my feelings and emotions. So here’s what’s up. Over a month ago I got broken up with. I beggged and begged him to stay but he refused. I was beyond devastated. I got even more upset when he started to seem like he didn’t care about what happened between us. And it was definitely a pretty serious relationship. So we decided to be friends. And to be fair I still do like him… a lot I’m having a hard time letting go of something that will never be real again. But around two days ago he told me that I made him uncomfortable and he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I apologized and told him to do whatever he needs to distance himself away from me. At first I was definitely sad. It’s not just that like him.. I lost a friend. And at the same time I feel like a weight has been lifted. I had a very unhealthy connection to him. I would get jealous over small things (I would never express it though) and I felt lost without a quick reply. He said that maybe we can be friends again in the future but not now. I just don’t want to hold onto maybes. I’m having a hard time understanding that he’s gone. Everywhere I look is a reminder of what we used to be. I miss him so much. But I have to let go. He doesn’t care about me anymore. I just want to know if anyone has ways to cope with the loneliness I’m facing or ways to help get over this breakup.
Anyways, You live and you learn, forgive and forget. We can't control everything, all we can do is try our best. It does sound like you had an unhealthy codependency with this person, but don't blame yourself for it. You could try to expand your support group as to not rely on one person for too much of your happiness. Take care of yourself first and foremost because you have to live with yourself the rest of your life. Try working on a couple different hobbies and skills. Focus outwards so you don't get stuck in your head. There will be plenty of other people that you'll come across in your lifetime. I know it's hard in the moment, but there's a brighter future ahead for you, someone will love you for everything you are. Sry idk any quick fixes, just time. Voluntarily feel all the emotions you can and then try and pick yourself up and move on. Goodluck and i wish you the best.
@internalparadox How are you doing? Have you been able to move on? I wish a couple more people would of been able to respond to this with advice, but like i said in my last post this forum is so full of new threads it's really difficult to keep up with them all.
Yo we listeners are here for you for support.
I know it hurts a lot, things do get better with time.
But the healing process you have to do on your own.
It really sounds like the relationship was dead before the break up in the guys mind. And friendship never works out after the relation. Even when both mutually don't like each other as a partner, post relation friendship seldom works out.
I personally allow myself to feel fully. So if I like someone, I'm truthful about it, just to be a friend I refuse to hide my feelings, cuz that's wrong to me.
N even the pain, I'd like to feel fully. Cuz I'm hurt n down, I dont have to deny it.
But I know that doesn't work for others. Hope you heal soon. Good luck. N you sound like a good n genuine person, hopw you find someone more suitable.
