What do you think?
I was engaged to someone I truly loved, but our relationship became very confusing and emotionally hard for me. He used to smoke hash before we got serious, and he always told me he stopped. But every time we traveled, he would crave smoking again. His old friends kept calling him a lot, and he said he didn't want to “lose them because he might need them one day.” This made me feel unsafe and unsure if he was actually staying clean.
During conflicts, he often became silent, defensive, and emotionally distant. If we fought, he would shut down and give me the silent treatment until I talk and apologize. I’m someone with very strong emotions and this dynamic made me feel unstable and constantly worried.
Two weeks ago we had a big argument because he went to those friends house. I exploded and told him very bad words. He gave me silent treatment for 7 days. I called him to end things between us. He said OK. Since then it’s been 16 days of no contact. He didn’t block me, but he didn’t try to reach me either.
Now I’m feeling guilty because I kept doubting his honesty about smoking and his friends and because of my impulsivity.
@Soui19
It's not all on you, yes, you might struggle with emotions and impulsivity.
But he cannot give you the silent treatment, and treat you as he does.
Relationships are about honest communication and trust.
He could have reached out to you if he wanted to .you deserve someone who openly works with you on the life you both want.
You deserve to be happy and not second guessing yourself 💜 💕
@Soui19
It is hard to end a relationship with someone you care about. I understand the questions you are asking yourself. Just know that you deserve to be told the truth.
@Soui19,
It's tough time to manage the situation. You are the right person to sit and think from the day love start. In general what I feel is , you know he is a smoker and surrounded by that type of friends, and loved with hoping that he will get rid of that habit soon. With a lot of love on you he promised that he will stop as you requested. He tried or not it's not clear ,but it's tough to people to change their habits so fast or easy . It takes time. Keeping silent may be it's his defensive system to protect himself to cover his face for not keeping his promise. What ever it may be ,that's his nature . Now you have to decide from your past experience that he really loving you or not . Take time and see from all angles . Think why he is supporting his friends group. Is he really seeing to stop smoking ? Taking any doctor help etc.. if you can't find any answers, better to reconsider the relationship. It's my perception with given information. Hope it helps you someway .