What is Triangulation? 3 Steps to Avoiding & Stopping it from happening in the community
Hello everyone,
I'm writing to discuss the very important topic of triangulation.
It's come to my attention that some members may be engaging in this behavior without realizing the negative impact it has.
To ensure clarity, I want to define what triangulation is and explain why it is so unhelpful to our community.
(@Lee has also provided valuable insight on this topic here)
Triangulation occurs when a conflict or issue that exists between two people is brought to involve a third person.
Example:
If person A and person B (both 7 Cups users, whether a listener or a member) have a personal issue with one another, they should resolve it directly between themselves.
If person A involves person C in their issue with person B, this is considered triangulation.
Triangulation can happen to anyone. While it can be tempting to seek external support for a two-person conflict from someone else, it ultimately creates a negative outcome for everyone involved. If direct conflict resolution isn't possible, please connect with a community manager by filing a report through our Help Desk
Conflict resolution through clear, calm, and honest conversation is challenging and requires overcoming fear, but when handled correctly, it benefits all parties. Remember, we all come from different backgrounds, and sometimes words or phrases can unintentionally seem intimidating.
Why is Triangulation Harmful?
It’s harmful because:
It leads to the spread of information, potentially causing harm to those involved.
It facilitates the spreading of rumors.
It exposes a private situation between two users to a wider audience, violating confidentiality.
If someone approaches you for support regarding a situation that occurred within the listener community, here is what you must do:
Never share the names of any users involved.
Never share specific details of a chat or private interaction.
If someone begins to share a triangulated issue with you, please respond with this statement:
"I am sorry this happened! It sounds like a challenging situation. To avoid triangulation, it would be best for you to practice conflict resolution with the person involved. If direct conflict resolution isn't possible, please notify a community manager by filing a report through our Help Desk. To preserve confidentiality, please do not share this situation with other users."
Special Note: You should avoid triangulation with all other users, including mentors, group moderators, peer supporters, and mentor leaders. If a situation cannot be resolved through direct conflict resolution, the proper procedure is always to file a report through our Help Desk.
You can also reach out to Ambassadors or Admins to help facilitate a conflict resolution between you and the other person, that way the two of you get support by working through your challenges in a safe way.
As listeners, we all share the responsibility to stop triangulation when we encounter it or are asked to participate in it. This commitment is vital for maintaining a healthy and positive community.
I challenge everyone to take the Avoiding Triangulation Pledge:
"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence."
Other helpful information:
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation.
I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.
Signed: Zoe 23.4.16
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence
Signed : @Belluswithinia 12/05/2016
"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence. "
Signed: @havanabanana 5/25/16
"In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence. "
Signed: Lucy 5/27/16
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.
Signed: nbMacaron 5/292016
@Laura
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.
Signed: Curingrainfall 30/05/16
@Laura Thank you again for such a good post!
I felt like sharing an experience I had. Here it goes:
I suffered from triangulation, not here on 7 cups, but inside a NGO.
There was a girl that was really mad with something that happened (which did not involve me) and came speak to me, I listened to her without giving my opinion or advice (Active listening).
Sudenly she decides she wants to involve another person to the this issue she was feeling, asking me that I should go too(making a group chat with 3 of us) endorsing it was of my interest. I rejected since it was a problem that didn't involved me.
Some time later she came to me complaining about this other person that was being mean, I remained in active listening, then she decides to share a picture of their conversation where she mentions my name saying I feel the same as her.
The other person criticized me, saying I am putting stuff in this girls head just because something, completely out of the topic, went wrong in one of my works inside the NGO.
I not only felt really unconfortable, sad, disappointed, betrayed, wronged, as well I did ask that girl to never mention my name in a conversation with other person again.
Please completely stay away from triangulation!
Thank you in advance for reading my post!
With all my heart:
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and supportive environment by stopping the spread os rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.
Signed: Butterfly 6/6/16
Thank you so much! I think triangulation is something even the best of us get wrapped up in every now and then, often unwittingly. An excellent reminder.
In all of my interactions on 7 Cups, I will work to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my presence.
Signed River, The 5th of June, 2016
In all my interactions on 7Cups, I will work tot he best of my abiloity to maintain healthy relationships and a supportive environment by stopping the spread of rumors and misinformation. I will maintain professionalism by not involving myself in conversations or situations which do not include me or require my prescence.
Signed starryNarwhal63 June 20, 2016
