Where's the light inside the darkness...
**TW**
Everything has been so hard lately. It just hurts so much idk what to do anymore, the pain is so overwhelming and unbearable. I want it to stop. Sometimes I can't believe this is my life, that all of this pain and hurt is really happening. It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I've resorted to hurting myself to cope with this mess I call my life.
I suppress how I feel knowing it will only make everything worse. Saying that i'm fine has become the normal for me. I want to get better, I really do but I'm scared of what my life will be like without this pain.
I've never been good at asking for help... It's hard for me to admit that I need help because it makes me feel like I'm weak and useless. Talking about how I feel, or just talking in general has never been something that's easy for me. I've always been a really shy person so talking has always been something I've struggled with.
I sometimes think that everyone would be better off without me. I feel like I was a mistake. I don't belong anywhere, I never have. No one understands, or even really bothers to try. I'm always judged, or made to feel like I don't matter. And then people wonder why I don't talk about how I feel.
I feel so alone, idk what else to do. There's no one who really cares. I'm tired of trying.
I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. Is there anything we can do as a community to support you?
@Paliloveyourself
To be honest I don't really know..
I understand that, we're always here for you though. 💖💖💖
I have felt this way before. Not just once, but many times. I have touched this void. Your words described a past that I once had. I don’t know what reason led you to feel this pain—every story is unique, after all. And I, sincerely, identified with your message as I read it.
I have already felt a void so vast it seemed to swallow me from the inside out. I have resorted to hurting myself in another case quite a few years ago. And recently... I’ve confessed that I’m afraid that if I change, I won't be able to handle it. (It’s another matter for now, and it’s in 'quarantine' mode). I’ve also said that the world would be better off without me.
And look at this... No one understands you? I’ve just found a reflection of what I felt a few years ago. I care, at this exact moment (02/24/26 at 01:19 AM).
Maybe I don’t have a big, warm light to offer you, but I know there is something inside me. Perhaps a tiny ember that one day refused to burn out. I offer it to you 🔥.
Do you know something I always remember when I visit what I’ve named the 'bottom of the pit' or the 'black hole'? A line from one of the characters in a children's book (The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse):
'Always remember that you are important. You are loved, and you bring things to this world that no one else can.'
And in that same book, the horse says that the bravest thing he ever did was ask for help. And truly, that was brave of you too.
I don't know what happened to make your heart so heavy. And I wish from the bottom of my heart that the sun shines in your life once more. After all, it always shines after a storm, doesn't it?
Be at peace.
With love, your 'sister fairy', Lumine. ✨️
...
To be honest, I'm not even sure if it was 'faith' at the time... because back then, I actually asked to just... drop dead. I literally said, "I give up. I'm no good... I'm beyond repair." And yet, here I am. Very much alive, two years later. God took care of me even when I didn't want Him to. I saw it. I felt it. And I know it. He held me together when I was certain I was broken forever.
I will be praying for you...
I don't know your path or what you believe, but I want you to know that I'll be asking for light and peace to find your heart again.
@FadaLumine
Thank you, that really means a lot. thanks for helping me feel a little less alone.
Izzzzzzyyyyy I love you <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Aw, love you.
Ty for everything. (:
I just read your post and checked in to know how you are feeling today?
@rejuvenated01
Idk, I'm hanging in there..
You can always make each day meaningful by talking about what seems to bother you. You need to start by accepting that you are important and gradually you will begin to realise how that importance is contributed. It takes some time to. You have done the right thing by simply reaching out. How is the feeling today are some days different from others or are you depressed about each day?
@rejuvenated01
The feeling is still there... Just not as strong. Everyday is about the same some days worse than others tho.
What is the feeling like today?
@rejuvenated01
I don't really know how to explain it. I just feel sad and numb kinda
