dying

although not a suicidal thought overall, I feel it falls under suicidal ideation. Personally, when I found myself having these thoughts, I found it was because I was in a depressive spiral. As someone who has depression and have survived attempts, death isn’t something I fear, BUT I feel if it’s something you’re fantasizing about, dig deep and ask yourself why. Why does this seem appealing? Does this feel like an escape to my current issues? Do I really want this or do I want to leave my current circumstances? Nevertheless, if you’re having these fantasies, I would explore the option of speaking to a listener or therapist. Perhaps they can provide more insight or perspective that you can dig deeper into why those feelings are there. All of our feelings are valid, but it’s also important we figure out the root of those feelings and whether they are serving us or harming us.

@brooklyngs

Yes, I would say! It is normal, particularly if someone close to you has passed on recently, to have a lot of thoughts about the death process. However, to look forward to it points to the need to see a therapist, especially if otherwise your health is good and you are not a senior citizen. People who are very sick, are in a lot of pain or are so old they don't enjoy life any longer are often looking at death as a deliverance. If none of this applies to you, it would be wise to talk about it with a professional.

@brooklyngs

Yes, sounds like a suicidal ideation. I suffered with ideations for four years before taking them seriously and getting adequate help. I was in therapy most of that time, but the therapist misrepresented themselves as doing DBT, so I wasn't getting the help I needed. Eventually, the thoughts escalated and started to get scarier.

I ended up doing a voluntary inpatient stay in a dedicated mental hospital of my choosing, and got on meds. That was a turning point for me. I know a lot of people have bad experiences in hospitals, so finding the support that works is a very individual thing and can require a lot of hard trial and error.

I hope you find the support you need.