grateful for my baby sister

so story time: yesterday i saw a big fat cockroach in my room. my first instinct: kill it, bc i don't like not knowing where the pest could be, running around in my room (my sanctuary. where i spend most of my time in). somehow i managed to trap it under some things and i stacked some heavy stuff onto it, hoping that the pest would be squished to death.

i didn't want to deal w it then, thinking i'd do it today.

but i spent today in an infinite scrolling trance, flitting between reddit and twitter and even a couple of movies - seemingly paralysed from the task i'd told myself to do. the whole day went off in a flash, next thing i knew it was night time and time for my daily video call w my family.

i only told my younger sister about this pest problem and begged for her to stay on video call w me while i investigate the pile where the cockroach was (still hopefully) trapped under. i kind of wanted to not do it and go to bed, but there was a rational voice in the back of my head telling me i needed to face this thing and get it over with, bc if it keep it to fester longer i'd never be able to tackle my actual to-do list i'd put together the day before.

two hours later (after a lot of hesitation and maybe a couple of tears - i really was scared) it was all over. i just needed someone to see me through (even though she was mostly just watching me, eating HAHAHA). that little bit of encouragement, just her presence was enough - even though she wasted about two hours of her life seeing me be a scaredy cat.

i thought i'd always be able to do things on my own (as i always have, all these years). but having someone (and holding me accountable to actually see things through) is nice.

i guess having the right people around you is the key.

now i am putting a new to-do list. crossing my fingers i get it all done.