i thought i was over it
one of my coworkers from my summer job became someone who i thought wanted a relationship with me. we would talk and hangout all the time before i moved into college, and even then, we kept in touch and always talked about us eventually dating. at the time, i didn’t realize it was lovebombing, but they gave me a bunch of their stuff (hoodies, necklaces, etc) and made me feel important. previously, i had been hesitant to be in a relationship, but they made me genuinely want to try for a relationship. they just gave me a lot of hope. but then things ended last month because they said they were emotionally unavailable and we haven’t really spoken since even though they said we could still be friends.
the past month has been filled with ups and downs (mostly downs) where i find myself blaming myself for “not being good enough” or just generally thinking i did something wrong.
recently, i thought i was okay with it and came to terms with us not speaking, but now i’m back into feeling like i was the one that messed things up and that i just miss having them present in my life. it just sucks having so much hope and happiness with a person just for things to not go the way you thought they were going to be. and the thing is, they’re a genuinely good person so i honestly can’t be mad at them. i just wish things worked out, but i also know that this is for the best. i don’t know, i’m just confused and hurt right now.
and i feel like if i open up about this to my IRL friends, they’ll just say the same things and tell me to get over it, or say “omg still?” they always tell me to move on, but i just genuinely cared for this person and for us to not be anything after everything we did and said, it all just sucks. :/
Well, they said that they were emotionally unavailable for you, to tell someone that thing takes a lot of care, because you are saying that you cant be there for someone you care, see it that way, they cared so much for you that told you the truth, yeah, they can be friends, but at the end of the day, they cant be more than that, and to be honest, the best solution is to move on, you shouldn't wait for someone, never, doing that is an act of low-selfsteem and for your mental health you shouldn't be waiting, yeah sometimes things didn't go the way we are thinking, but that is how life works, you wish that the things worked out, but at the end of the day that wish is doing damage to you because is a thing in your mind that remembers you that that thing failed, and well, you just did nothing wrong, being yourself is not wrong, if that person really cared about you, they have told you your mistake and well, just give yourself time to process things, go and have fun with you loved ones because the best way to be better in this case is to not thinking about that, and the best way is to think about other things, i hope this helped someway, good luck!