starting to do items you just have not for someone else
for people here that have given up things for others.....
example my spouse is a recovering alcoholic i have NOT drank anywhere near him only maybe a few glasses of wine in 6 years.... i have been asking myself why...... i probably do not need to drink but the thought of a drink or two sound appealing ...... drinking in secret feels odd but is it too rude to drink in front of him.
There are many examples in relationships you may not buy certain items because spouse is not fond of it .....he hates air fresheners and i hate house smelling like something he just cooked/ burnt all the time so i spray fresheners in morning after he leaves for work
i am beginning to think it is not worth it always compromising ...
i support their issue but when do i get the same consideration. I ate at a restaurant in secret for lunch at work ... because we could not go as he claimed he hated then admitted he never really tried it...
perhaps when people start keeping SCORE of i do X,Y and Z for a person....... What do i get in return .....it is a serious red flag. what would you do i have tried talking to them it goes no where.
@toughTiger6481
I'm sorry you are not receiving the same consideration that you give to your spouse. This seems like a sad situation.
I don't understand the last paragraph, "If you start keeping score for a person, that I did X, Y, Z but what do I get in return? It's a red flag", what does the red flag mean? Does it mean you are unhappy, there's problem in the relationship and the other person needs to be more considerate or does it mean you need to be more selfless? Hope you'd answer because it resonates with some of my own thought process too.
Hope you take care of yourself in the meantime, doing something that's fun. <3
@seashell145
It means both really ....
i think it should be a red flag that enough is enough and to do what YOU want and too bad if they can not accommodate that
It also show they are inconsiderate and If they can not or will not improve ..... maybe it is time to set them free. I am tired of the idea that we must give and give and give and seemingly expect nothing back.
I think your comments make sense and it sounds like you want more of a two way street rather than it being you who feels like they’re constant putting effort in with little in return.