stephanie lil corner
i realized i’ve never posted something so i wanted to start for myself. to just have thoughts lying about.
im doing this huge AP studio portfolio. and we have to do 15 pieces of a theme. i think i want to do the theme about intimacy. not just like relationships but depicting friendships, family, pets, things that make life intimate not just in like good ways but can also be bad. i just don’t really know how to depict it like what ideas i should do.
i’ve just been people watching a lot recently and it’s like. it’s so beautiful seeing people(: like genuinely humans are so cute. the way we show love for people is truly art. and i want to try to do that for my portfolio
lol anyway 12:09 am thoughts
@steph8402
Heyoo Steph, lovely to meet you and glad you decided to create your lil corner to share more here.
I found the last chunk of text really fascinating, "people-watching"~ Woah, it's so amazing just thinking about it hehe, now that I give it a proper thought, I love it too, watching and observing (in a non creepy way of course lolll) humans being just human living through the nuances of life is certainly quite intriguing and teaches one so much more about human behaviour and societal cues. And definitely many cute moments to be caught in doing so hehe. 🥰
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
aww hi nice to meet you too! i haven't seen you around. thanks. people are so fun to watch (definitely in not a creepy way lol). human interactions are perceived in so many different ways too. anyway. i'm glad you had fun reading:) take care!! and happy new year!
@steph8402
Aw hope to see you around more then and thank youuuu. Have a great one you too!<3<3
i keep forgetting to update this. or like say something. because it is my own thing. :b.
whoops.
today was a weird day. i'm not even sure how to feel about it and it's only 5pm. like the day is not over yet. but it feels over. if that makes any sense. anyway. i don't know. there's so many thoughts i could say, but i don't really "feel" like those thoughts. they are just rambling in my brain like some weird electrical error in a computer. maybe i'll feel something better tomorrow than weird glitches. we'll see.
january 25,2024
today was kinda rough. not really because anything happened but i just felt wrong the whole time. i mean it’s ok i just wish it didnt happen. chat rooms for some reason are making me really anxious. so many people too fast. and im like an extreme extrovert. but for some reason i’ve just not been feeling it. i kinda wish people were like genuinely there for me. idk. i just feel like no one is. like there’s always another person to help. and while it’s probably so selfish of me. i wish someone just was there for me. i feel like everyone’s got someone like that in life. and i just don’t. i genuinely don’t have anyone aha. i love my family but i just can’t tell them things i think about. because either 1. they’ll get mad. or 2. they get super concerned and sometimes what i need is not for people to be concerned but to just be like. ah gotcha and just sit in silence or something not try and fix me.
anyway. 10:09 pm thoughts haha. i’m fine. kinda. but i just always say that
@steph8402 Hey there friend! first off its mot selfish to want to have someone there for you! as human nature we long for human to human connection. sometimes we focous so much on others that we forget to take a moment for ourselves. i get it. taking a moment for yourself can be hard, especially if you feel too worthless or feel selfish doing so (im the same way lol) but asking for help is great! ik its not the same as IRL "being there" bor you, but im here and totally support you! you can lean on me if u need and let it all out ykyk?
thank you so much emmy. you’re words were so good to hear:) and yes if you ever need anything let me know too i’m here for you! thanks you so much ❤️
@steph8402 ya ill be sure to reach out :D have a good day steph
been a hot minute in here. but i felt like saying something for myself lol either way this is my corner. i keep forgetting that.
i feel really numb. like nothing is good nothing is bad, i'm just like sitting here doing nothing. and it's so *** annoying. i see people doing amazing things in life or even just having a *** day and i'm here like. well i'm not really going through anything good or bad so i don't know how to feel. i feel like even days where i'm happy and on cups it gets ruined because someone ignores me or like two people are talking and i feel like a *** third wheel. and like it's not even their fault but like or it is i'm not sure. because they should be able to talk to whoever. but it still sucks.
anyway i'm not sure. i don't feel good nor bad. i don't really feel anything. i'm just laying around doing homework.
5:29 pm thoughts
@steph8402 ive felt the same. out in public im.. ME....then i come home and my anxiety hits a high cause of my dad and i just cant function in my own home. i just sit on my bed, do homework and message people because i dont want to interact with the people who give me the most anxiety yk? okay my point is, is your not alone. i feel numb at home too, when thats where im supposed to feel most safe, alive, and happy. the only reason im not TOTALLY numb anymore is cause of my boyfriend, but he lives in Pennsylvania and i live in Utah.....its a challenge but he makes me happy. i just want you to konw your not in the numbness fight alone. so many people are experiencing this too. just keep reaching out and find the spark i know is in your soul to find happiness. honestly if we are getting down to it...humans look for happieness all their lives, but most of the time we wait forever to feel it, only to loose it and look for it again. theres nothing wrong with being down. nothing at all. just dont stay there my friend!!!
@EmmyMarie06
EMMY. i live in utah. :0.
also thank you(: yeah it kinda sucks and i’m glad you have ur boyfriend that’s awesome. i don’t have really anyone so it gets lonely. and even the people i do have i feel wrong. like i’m not that close with them to say stuff yk. so yeah. anyway. you live in utah toooooo. that’s crazy bro. what a small world.
@steph8402 WHAT THATS CRAZY!!! if it ever comes to that it would be fun to meet up lol. also yea i get that. i dont wanna burden the people im closer to with my stuff, and ngl i dont feel safe sharing it. their good people and all but...idk. so yea i get that lol
@EmmyMarie06
IT IS CRAZYYY! and im so down:) after i turn 18 it’s free reign for me tbh:)
and yeah i totally get that. it’s hard. but i’m here for you if you ever wanna talk. it’s kinda nice knowing you’re weirdly close by(:
@steph8402 haha it kinda is nice knowing your somewhere near me lol. also i will defanitly keep your offer in mind thank you!!
@steph8402 Yes of course! you as well. literally makes my day :D
