vent

I thought if I could hold myself accountable, I'll get better. This week I've tried to be more productive by getting my work done and getting up and going to sleep at decent times, washing my face, having a routine and even working on creative projects, but I feel the same. Every time I go to bed I feel the same way, empty and sad. I want to cry, but I never do. I have so many problems with myself and others and I can't fix them, don't know how to. I'm stressed, anxious, and tired. I'm so tried. I just want to get better, why can't I get better. I shouldn't feel this way, because I have no reason to. And my thoughts, I hate my thoughts. Thinking about things I can't change, thinking about horrible things about myself, just thinking and thinking. I hate it. I wish I can stop thinking. I wish I can stop everything. I want to reset my life. I must've done something in my 16 yrs of life to turn out this way. I just want everything to go away, my feelings, thoughts, everyone. I just want to get better.