Drowning in happiness
I've lived in darkness my whole life. I saw no point. I kept giving up, and almost gave up completely.
Don't get me wrong, goodness was sprinkled in here and there. But I grew suspicious of it. It felt as it were a lie, trying to convince me to dredge on through the mud. Forced fuel to push me to drive through the fog.
Now? I feel like I'm drowning in happiness. In darkness I found only light, reason, purpose. I found the power to forgive, to accept, to love. I feel there are infinite things to say for understanding is endless. It feels like I'm on the brink of collapse again, but this time it's because I'm bursting with positivity.
Happiness feels almost alien. I'm still getting used to it. It is most welcome, but I don't want it to overwhelm me. I want to channel it into living the best life I can.
My aim is balance, calm, peace of mind. I can't seem to find the middle!
I'm also afraid no-one can relate. I hope someone can, but I'm content speaking with the void.
I feel completely new. I feel I know almost nothing. And I'm so excited to learn.
@cyanessence I feel like you're making all the right steps. Forging your way out of the darkness was a big leap. Now you're onto checking on your happiness that it doesn't interrupt the calm..because with the calm you can deliver your highest, again a good check on yourself ... you are also at ease with your alone march, something a lot of people find very hard to do. All this to me suggests your future is in really good hands 🙌 your self awareness is your biggest strength.
I think the next step for you maybe to experiment with and identify what your prioritised interests that you would want to spend your energy on to lead the balanced life you envision for yourself.
@Creamyyy
Thanks for the thoughtful response! Really wasn't expecting anything, so this is a pleasant surprise.
Reflection is what saved me in the end. I'm learning there's a time and a place for that, I cannot force understanding of the self. And I cannot do it alone. It's people like you that provide needed perspective.
I do need more to do, more structure. Something to put this energy into. I'm starting a philosophy course soon, but it's short. It's time to figure out what the bigger picture is, at least in part. Small steps, but consistent steps.
I've rested. I've healed, although there's more of that to do. Now, it's time to realise myself.
You really get me thinking friend.
Wish you lot of blessings and bright future ahead is waiting for you
Always be hopeful for better days ahead
Better than today
🙏 take care
Never give up 🫶🏾
