How can I stop the pain?
My wife of 11 years left me taking the Kids with her. While I was out of town two states away at a church conference. They will not talk to me, no texting, email, or any communication at all, and the kids have their own phones . They are in high school yet they even wont talk to me. I do not even know why she left. They took all their clothes, beds, half the food, half all our money. All out the back door so I would not see from our ring cam.
This pain is something I have never felt before. It actually hurts physically. Constant anxiety, heaviness on my chest that wont go away.
@Frost52
Wow that is something that took planning and thought not spur of the moment. Being blindsided and no one speaking to you would be a huge shock to the system. We may not see why but people who go to this type of plan and moving does not seem spur of the moment. you deserve answers or at least reasons. even if kids are high school age as a minor this could be considered parental kidnapping depending on where you live.
Sadly, whatever your wife is going through she most likely has convinced kids of same. This is not a healthy lesson to run away and not deal with things directly and with maturity. The pain may stay until you get some clarity on the situation.
@toughTiger6481 is right Frost52 you at very least deserve answers to why your wife left you and took the kids. It’s like tough said the only way to feel better is to get some answers… I hope that you feel better. 💕❤️
@Angel628 I just last night went back to look if she seen any of the txt I sent her. She did look at them cause it says, Read. but still no response. I sent one last text to hopefully get though to her.
@Frost52 Are ya children in the same school as they were befoah they left?
@eternalHero77 Yes, they are both in highschool.
@Frost52 Are ya able to possibly go to the school at lunch time to try to Chat to them and maybe get the school counselor to assist?
@eternalHero77 No, they will not let me see them. I am not on the approved visitor list.
I'm sorry God is with you
@Denise60 I do believe in God, but feels like he's not around anymore.
@Frost52 Mathew 28:20 "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age"
We are here to listen. Are you okay?
@passionateSky4534 No, I'm not. I am really not Ok. I miss my family, I have constant dread and anxiety. Its been a month, now. Still no contact.
I understand the pain of no contact. People say it is better that way to heal, but I am not sure if I agree. The dread and anxiety is real (which is why I am still awake at three in the morning). Let me know if you figure out anything that helps.
@Frost52 omg her leaving plus kids not speaking to u..gosh that's so awful. I'm so sorry
@Frost52Thanks for sharing this. That sounds incredibly painful and disorienting - to come home and find your family gone, with no explanation and no contact. I can understand why you’d describe it as physical pain and constant anxiety in your chest. That’s a heavy thing to carry alone.
@Frost52. If you have chest pain please see a doctor.
Frost52 I’m on at 8 tonight if you need a listening ear, I’m an adoptee and I hold family to such a high standard!!!! Please do not hesitate
@Odette2434 Thanks I don't come on here evert night.
Majority of hurt comes from being stuck in the past, regurgitation of thoughts about something. In this present and now moment everything is exactly as it is. The hurt is only because you are focused on it and giving your attention to it therefore it remains and gains momentum.
It can help to live in the present, accepted that this happened, distract, find anyway at all that you can to be happy and excited about something. Look for reasons to be happy. Look only at the positive aspects of those who hurt you. Focus on something that you love about them or something that caused you to smile or laugh. Those memories remove hurt and keep you present in a positive way.
@AbundantDeepak Thanks for the advice.