My Personal Empowerment Project

Hey everyone, I'm new here, not sure I'm posting in the right place. There are so many areas I could introduce myself in...anxiety, traumatic experiences, chronic illness, disability, abuse...but then I saw "empowerment" and just thought yes.

I'm significantly disabled by chronic illness and currently homeless, not receiving medical care or mental health care for my PTSD and other issues. This is not for lack of trying. My medical conditions are somewhat extreme, complex, and unpredictable, and prevent most housing solutions or medications from being viable options.

My life is really unstable and there are no simple answers.

Many people seem to equate housing with stability, but I never have, since I've never found a place I can be in for more than a couple days without being forced to evacuate on a moment's notice. That's why living in a vehicle has actually given me the most emotional stability I've ever had--1) Because I was finally out from under the lifelong abuse for the first time ever, and 2) I could move my "home" instead of leaving it.

So the other night after a chat with someone here at 7 cups I asked myself the question: "When would my life be 'stable' according to me?" I journaled my thoughts. And what's come out is a list of goals to achieve. Some are lofty, some appear more easy than they are with my particular hurdles. But I think this tool is going to be a way for me to organize and objectively demonstrate the hard work I put into self-imrovement.

Guess I just didn't want to take this journey alone. I hope I can find some cheerleaders to help me along the way? :)

In no particular order, here's the list:

- When I'm obtaining sufficient rest/sleep at least 6 nights a week - or could

- When food is no longer a stressor but rather taken for granted (spoilage, affording it, obtaining it, preparing it, remembering to eat it)

- When clothing is no longer a stressor -- including laundry, mending, organizing and storage, sufficient clothing to feel confident about my appearance in any context and comfy in any weather

- When my hair is being cared for on a regular basis

- When my teeth are being cared for on a regular basis and dental visits are up to date

- When I have a predictable routine that works for me, including self-care and open slots to schedule things

- When medical is sorted, including palliative care, records organized, and staple meds no longer a stressor (having plenty on hand, with more obtainable and affordable)

- When I have a designated mental health professional and/or emotional support person in my life on a regular basis whom I trust and is actually helpful

- When I have sufficient noise protection options (certain sounds severely traumatize me, and i haven't been able to afford replacements of stuff that I've lost or has broken down)

- When I can be confident about my personal safety

So much has already improved the past several months, I shouldn't make this post any longer telling about it. But basically there are things that were mentally on this list in my head that have now been achieved, and they took a while but they got there and my life is the better for it. Now, obviously I cannot tackle all these things at once, but I'm hopeful that by spelling it all out it will give me more satisfaction in achieving them, and also something tangible people can support me in.

Sorry if all this is wrong area or way out of left field, I find it easier to just throw myself into the deep end sometimes than to dip a toe in and wave a simple hello. :P