My happiness is momentary, but I enjoy it anyway

My birthday is always a blast. Not only because I only invite people that actually TALK to me but because I am so proud of myself.

I always think I deserve a reward for surviving another year. And if you step into my shoes, you'll find out it can nearly bring you to death. So, congrats to me. I am so *** strong for enduring pain for so long… I deserve to spend a huge amount of money on pedicure and I deserve a pretty silver necklace.

I deserve a beautiful black dress and black high-heels (even though they are borrowed). I deserve to have my makeup done by a professional and I deserve curls in my hair made by my bestest friend.

I deserve a beautiful and big cake, and a sign and a panel to take pictures with, because they are from my favorite series.

I deserve to eat several types of finger food because that's exactly what I like.

And most of all, I deserve happiness and joy and excitement. Planning a party is stressful. But good stressful. I love it.

I made this 95% on my own and I am so happy with it.

Tuesday is gonna be special, but the days to come after will always be a reminder that the world doesn't owe you anything. You will still deserve many things, but it's pricey. Life's like that.

In my borderpolar mind, life is so beautiful right now.