Share your personal experience as a family member or a friend

Here's my story: From the time that I was in high school up until my sophomore year of college, I was coping with my sister

@gonzo6 I grew up in a very rural area with parents who didn't believe in modern medicine -- hard to believe, I know. I didn't actually start looking into my own mental health until I left home.

I believe that my oldest sister has BPD, although she's never been diagnosed. She has always been very manipulative and in her eyes, people are either all good or all bad. She resented the way we grew up and used a small truth to concoct an elaborate story of abuse and neglect. She blamed my mother until she died, and then the blame and resentment transferred to my father. She's extremely intelligent, but has extreme mood swings and will love you one minute and hate you the next. I don't believe that she will ever seek help or admit that there is something wrong with her. It's always someone else's fault.

It's hard for me to have any kind of relationship with her because of her mental health condition. All I can do is focus on my own mental health and selfcare. It's hard when you have a family member that can't see that they need help.

When I was younger, I had an uncle move in with my mom and I. My uncle experiences a dual diagnosis associated with bipolar disorder and substance abuse. When I was younger I did not understand that he was sick and I did not understand that he had a difficult time maintaining jobs and relationships due to his illness. I did not understand why he could not live on his own; and I would always go back and forth with my mother about why he had to live with us. He would go through random outburst and yell at everyone and my friends hated coming over. My friends and neighbors would tease me about it! I was ashamed to have friends and guys come to my house because I did not know how he would respond to their presence. For years I was afraid of him and I did not like him. However, now I am starting to learn more about his illness and I am learning how to better understand him.

@gonzo6 I think it's hardest when someone wont share openly with you about what's going on. I think my friend has a mental health condition and he's talked vaguely about medication and stuff. It's hard to know how to be there for him. I feel like I can't ask him about his mental health cause he has a right to his privacy if he doesn't volunteer info first. But he also doesn't see how his behaviors effect me. I don't know how to ask if he's in treatment or confront him when he says hurtful things (I don't want to make our relationship worse or make him feel bad).

@gonzo6 Anxiety runs in my dad's side of the family. My grandmother is now 92, and the stress of being elderly has made her anxiety and depression a lot worse. We had to check her into the hospital a few years ago (she then befriended a woman who had paranoia following the Edward Snowden NSA leaks but that's another story), and she's very stubborn about getting help (she says she doesn't see the point). She didn't find out about my mental health issues until a few years after my diagnosis and her first reaction was to blame herself, which was not helpful for any of us. Family dynamics can be really bizarre when a lot of family members have mental illnesses, because we tend to try and relate to people using experiences that aren't necessarilly universal. For example, my dad had really horrible agorophobia when he was in his twenties, but had a very difficult time putting up with my panic attacks when I was little. He didn't recognize the symptoms because they were so different from his. Even though my sister is older than I am, she often turns to me for advice with her anxiety because I dealt with a lot of pretty severe symptoms early on and started therapy and medication a few years before she did.

@gonzo6 Although I've been involved in mental health both personally and professionally for about ten years, my family never spoke openly about the mental health and substance abuse issues that affected many of our family members.

It's only now that my family has started talking about mental health and unfortunately, it took my father's suicide to make that happen. My father was a Veteran and lived with undiagnosed PTSD and depression for much of his life. It seemed like he prided himself on being a soldier and that asking for help would have been a sign of weakness.

For the first time in her life, my mother is now learning about mental illness and suicide. She sees a counselor, joined a survivors of suicide support group and attended this year's NAMI National Convention-- all things she had never considered despite the fact that I've been in therapy and have been working in mental health and suicide prevention for years.

It's sad that it sometimes take a tragedy for us to start talking about mental health. It's important that we keep the conversation going and encourage others to seek support when they need and deserve it.

I grew up with a sister who had depression and anxiety. We were very close, but her mood would change in an instant and she would get incredibly down. She took it out a lot on my parents, whom tried their best to help her. She ended up refusing to talk to my mom for years unless she absolutely had to and when she did she was rude and demonstrated a lot of anger toward her. She tends to push loved ones away. I have no idea why she does this and wish she would be more open to talk to me. I can't talk to her without her getting upset with me. I ended up going to NAMI family to family and it was really helpful. The environment was incredibly supportive and I found others who could relate to my situation.

@gonzo6 My older brother was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when he was 10 and I was 7. While it was difficult to grasp what was going on at first, I still understood that my brother needed more attention and care than most kids his age. On top of being Bipolar, he had ADHD, ADD, and Depression. This was overwhelming for my parents and even though I was very young, I could feel the tension in the house that would build up once my brother would walk through the door. This was not the easiest way to grow up; I am not denying that! But I am so pleased with how this experience has made me into the person I am today. I learned at a very young age that living with a mental illness is not something that you should be ashamed of. People would often make fun of my brother because he was 'different' and whenever that would happen, I would be there to stand up for him. I learned that while many believe that those living with mental illnesses will never amount to much, that is not the case. My brother just graduated from a 4-year college and has a steady job that he loves! He taught me that no matter how many people look down to you and have low expectations for you, you can ultimately do anything that you set you're mind to. Overall, what I am saying is that having a close family member or friend who lives with a mental illness can be difficult at times, but you can also turn it into an incredibly positive and rewarding experience.

I have been supporting friends and my boyfriend with various mental disorders for 3 years, the illnesses include psychosis, dissociative identity disorder, anxiety, depression, etc. The hardest time for me was when my guy's alter (alternate identity) appeared for the first time. It felt unbelievable to see someone else talking and walking inside his body. I helped the two resolve conflicts and merge together, and he's been fine for a long time now, but I feel like he's half his old self, half the alter. It took me a year to get used to this and to stop feeling like I 'wrecked' him but now I'm very grateful to have had that experience which made me much more compassionate and courageous and calm under pressure