How do I know if im overreacting?
A married man (who i knew since 1 year) offered me a drive. We were just friends at the time, so I said yes until he asked me to kiss him (i didn't). From that point on, it only got worse, and he often asks me to kiss him even though I said no, and he started touching me inappropriately. Once, he told me he'd get me drunk just to have sex with me, and many times he'd insist for up to two hours, hoping I'd say yes. He often tells me that if he insists, sooner or later, I'll say yes. I tried talking to someone, but the situation hasn't improved.
Sometimes, he touches me.
He once poured water on me in front of everyone, saying he'll pour more next time so he can see more.
I've tried to talk to him, and he apologizes and cries, but the situation hasn't changed.
Since this started, I've lost 15 kg, I'm constantly nauseous, I can't sleep, and I often forget what's going on with him even the next day.
I don't know if maybe i didn't make myself clear or if I'm doing something wrong. (English its not my mother tongue so im sorry)
@navyShade1310 🙁 you are definitely not over reacting🙁 this man is taking advantage of you and needs to stop😥 he's married so are you friends with his wife?? Is that his you know this pig?? His wife needs to be told and your friend circle to. I understand how hard it is to open up and tell people about what's happening but sweetie you need to find the courage to tell them, the truth may hurt his marriage/friendships but it's much better than you getting hurt any more than you already are. Hugs you tightly 💖 we are all here for you 💗
@Tinywhisper11 i tried talking to one of our friends and for about one week it was good but then he started again. I don't want to be a burden to everyone and this friend now thinks everything is fine (i think because sometimes he is the one trying to get us close), they're all older then me and i don't want to sound like a crybaby.
@navyShade1310 oh damn!😥 that's not good. I understand they are your friends and making friends theese days is never easy, but sweetie please don't let theese people take advantage of you😥 some friends are not real friends so just please becarful💖 hugs you tightly 💖
@Tinywhisper11 i know, but i don't think they mean to making me feel worse. I just think they can't do anything because he's still my coach so taking this seriously may affect everyone.
@navyShade1310
I am afraid that using violence to "make people closer" is never a good way... 😕
Couldn't say it any better tiny ❤️❤️♥️
@navyShade1310
You are not over reacting!
He has no right to pour water over you!
Kiss!
Touch or harass you, or make any sexual remarks especially when you've expressed your lack of interest and asked him not to.
Dint get into the car with him or be alone with him at all!
He has no respect for you, your voice, himself or his wife!
You are not to blame here at all!
💜💕
@Amanda84 thank you for your help. I am already trying to avoid staying with him. But it's not easy now because he started being more touchy even with other people around. Though ill try, thanks :)
@navyShade1310
You are most welcome 💜
This is called harassment.
And Im so sorry youre actually in self doubt because of someone's evil.... I really feel you... because a lot of us women do this to ourselves including myself when I was younger and didnt understand the motives of men around me....
Please be strong , stand up for yourself, draw clear boundaries, do not meet him alone, if you have to meet him in public report him for throwing water on you etc . You have to take on this battle my friend. For Yourself! For your health and happiness and peace. You deserve it. Your safety has to be your first priority. It may feel difficult but it will be life changing for your confidence as a woman. Im with you to support here ❤️
@navyShade1310
You are not doing anything wrong he is a predator hoping to coerce you into sex. I say report him to the police no matter what anyone says to make you feel bad about it. It’s either you or him(Always choose yourself) you deserve to be protected and feel safe
@navyShade1310
No, unfortunately, you are not overreacting at all. I have to tell you I am horrified to hear that.
I am a man, and I think the behaviour of this guy is a deep shame and a dishonour to the entire manhood. He is a black sheep, and his aggressive behaviour deserves consequences. I am very sad to know such a behaviour might be socially accepted in some cultures or countries.
I agree you should let your friends now, let his friends know, let his wife know. And I hope the time when you entered his car was the last time you did it—and one too many.
Also, I think it could be reported to the police as solicitation and sexual harassment, even if that could be the last resort.
A married man sexually harassing a single, defenceless woman is a red flag.
Expecting you to kiss him, when no such thing is on your mind, is a red flag.
Touching you without your consent is a red flag.
Pouring water on you—to see your almost naked—is symbolically like him pouring his semen on your. It's extremely aggressive and disgusting. And a big red flag.
Trying to "convince" you for hours (!) that you should have sex with him is very abusive, too, and reveals a person who might be a narcissistic sociopath, eager and ready to commit a crime.
This is neither a joke, nor just "innocent" bullying. To my mind such actions from a man, unfortunately, look like the introduction to a r*pe attempt. And I really would NOT like you—or any other woman!—to become his victim.
It has to be stopped NOW. Before any ugly things might have taken place.
Even if your mind feels confused and fogged (that's the way this villain expects you to be), your body is very responsible and wise, telling you the truth—that you might be in a very serious danger, and you should not ignore it.
Do not talk to this guy. Do not approach him in any way, socially or professionally. Avoid moving alone in public places when you might see him.
It's about your safety. Don't hesitate. React. Ask your friends for help. Tell them what is happening and how you feel about it.
And, last but not least, STAY SAFE 👍
@navyShade1310 you’ve done nothing wrong. He’s a predator and a manipulator. I would create distance immediately. Separate yourself from the situation. Make your intentions known. Don’t allow it to persist and advise your close ones of the situation. I hope you the best. Please be safe. And never give into it. He’s persistent as you said but make it known” no” loud and hard. Who gives a crap if he cries about it. Be strong.
What everyones is saying here above is right. You're not wrong. He's wrong. And please don't accept any of his requests no matter what.
He is harrassing you and manipulating you. You are just like a pawn for him. Don't fall for his trap even if he cries or dies.
Record what he says etc for proof, and take serious action. You're not a crybaby. This all comes under harassment category. You need to voice out.
Why don’t yu report him and block him? This is harassment
If u do better without him then move on
If u do better without him then move on