i messed up , let my parents down ,always running away
im in my last year of university i honestly never went but somehow succeded (i only went for exams) but the problem is i realised i know nothing about what im studying ,so i started skiping class for the fear of being judged to the point my parents now know about it , and they keep nagging me that im an *** or that im faking my panic attacks and fear of going , so today my mom decided to go with me (its 1 hour ride) to force me to go , honestly i hated it i faked entering to school but when i got out i found her waiting for me (like she knew i wouldnt go) so my mom told me either i enter to school or she will make a scene , so what did i do? i run away , i know my mom is a caring person she always wanna help but she never aknowledged the problem she think im just asking for attention , she always want me to go to meditation class or have someone talk to me ( for me it will never work cause thats not the issue ) the issue is she never accept that im sick and because of the fear of going i cant even face my problems , when she caught me outside she wanted to cry but honestly i dont care , i blocked my heart my emotions and run , now i dont know how to face them tonight , im thinking of not going back home and sleep outside , maybe they will finally see that i have serious issue instead of guilt tripping me everytime about it , sorry i talked a lot....
@LGAeasy I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging time. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of pressure and anxiety, especially with the expectations from your parents. It's important to remember that your feelings are valid, and seeking help is a courageous step.
If you feel comfortable, perhaps you could try having an open and honest conversation with your parents about how you're feeling, helping them understand the depth of your struggles.
Take care of yourself, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you 💜
@LGAeasy I'm am very sad to hear you going through such a rough time. It's never easy to deal with the pressure and anxiety you're experiencing right now but please know that what you are feeling and your reactions are completely valid given the situation.
I admire you for at least trying to level with your mother regarding the situation. Though her reaction to the situation could have been put better, she, just as yourself, is a human being and humans make plenty of mistakes all the time. You are not alone and if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you.
