Discussion 02: Building a Group
Please note: In order to successfully complete the program, you must respond to this post. Your comment/response should answer the questions/show that you completed the given activity (if any). Read the post carefully and implement the learning in the chat rooms. If you didn't participate in Discussion 01: Introduction to Group Support, then check here!
Welcome back, crew! In this discussion, we will learn about building a group.
As you have observed and noticed, some chat rooms are the busiest space while some are pretty quiet or slow. That means many factors contribute to a group building. It could be the topic, time of the day, members already there, social anxiety, facilitator, and so on. Each one of them has a critical role to keep the room active and supportive.
The first thing to acknowledge: 7Cups is a global platform. We are available to 189 countries and we have users who speak more than 140+ languages. That is, we have a large group of diversified members and have demographic and cultural differences. But, the challenge is how to connect them?
So, to do that, we structured and created certain rules and policies in order to facilitate group interaction. One of them is to use English as a common language to communicate. As per the research, 20% of the Earth's population speaks English, that is, the highest percentage for a language used for communication followed by the Mandarin language.
Then, we placed the chatroom rules regarding what is acceptable or unacceptable behavior in the chatroom so we are able to ensure the room is well moderated, safe, healthy, and compassionate space to connect and interact to get and provide support to each other.
That means in order to build a group, you need to identify the common grounds, and based on that you can structure a group for group support. Anxiety Support Room, for example, serves the purpose to support the members struggling with anxiety or to share the progress they make and what is working for them. Sharing Circle Room, another example, serves the purpose of the most structured and uninterrupted space to share and vent.
So, how as a group specialist/ facilitator, leader, one sets up the group is crucially important for its success. One needs to have an eye for details, structural features of a group to ensure a good environment for participation. It is important to reduce the unproductive anxiety, foster compassionate interaction among the members, increase the likelihood of good attendance and active participation, therapeutic processes, and discourage any unhealthy cliques to build a healthy group.
Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
Activity: Respond to at least two of your fellow trainees' comments with thoughts on their share.
After fulfilling the requirements of this post, please check out the next discussion here! Ensure to implement the learning from these discussions in the chat rooms to build and support the group. You must take part in the brainstorming/activities given in all of these discussions to successfully complete the program.
@ASilentObserver
Challenge:
Having members complaining about personal problems during a guided discussion and then feeling ignored.
Solution:
Asking them to speak to a listener privately or asking them to go to another room. Sometimes they can get in the way of discussions so calling a mod is necessary in those instances
Thanks for sharing, Lily. I can see that be a challenge! We can do our best to redirect them so our hosts can continue seamlessly.
Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
A challenge that I experience often is in the support room. I see many times people feeling left off or ignored because someone is support xyz but cannot support this person. People often feel ignored and feel as if no one cares. However, I have learnt that not everyone can be artful at supporting everyone. Listeners have selective topics they listen to for a reason and that's merely because some things you are comfortable with and some things you are not. It's okay to not be comfortable with something and it's okay to not do it.
@FrenchToastClub
This is so insightful. Not everyone is available all the time and it is sometimes okay to well not be okay or not be comfortable. We have to set boundaries and we have to make the best of the situation.
@ASilentObserver
A challenge is when people join rooms and watch others talk and interact with others. They're not really "in" the room.
Sometimes, if you call new people out, welcome them, and ask them some questions, you can get somewhere with them. They'll start participating a bit more.
For example, there are 15 people in a room. None of them really want to share, they're just hanging out while the discussion leader asks some questions, which hardly any of them respond to. Welcoming each person and asking more detailed questions can get you somewhere with a person.
@ASilentObserver
Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
@ASilentObserver
Discussion: Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms. What did you learn?
Challenge: I think it's a beautiful thing that bonds of friendship and familiarity form in group chat rooms; it's not only a way to foster connections, but it's also an avenue to make someone's day a bit better in any way or form.
However, there are times when these bonds, without meaning to, shut other people out of the conversation. It's wonderful when there are room supporters and moderators who can always acknowledge and interact with the new members in the room, but in some cases, there aren't any who are active so there are bound to be a lot of lurkers.
When this happened to me, what I did is to try and greet the people talking and join (slowly) the conversation. I remember at that time the topic was something that I am very interested in so I made sure to participate when they slowly started acknowledging my presence in the room. Before I know it, I'd become one of the regulars in that room.
In cases where the topic is something that you don't resonate with, connect with the people in the room and acknowledge what they're saying. Show the people in the room that you're interested in hearing what they have to say in the same way that you want them to open up to you. Remember that all the connections we foster here are two-way streets :) if you can't connect through the topic, connect to the members. There is always a new topic to learn and new information to digest.
The thing to remember is, like in any group dynamics, being in a group chat room doesn't mean instant camaraderie and bond for everyone. You gauge if it's something that fits what you need in a space. There are 150+ (I think) rooms that we have; if the first one doesn't fit, find another.
@ASilentObserver Building a group can be a tedious and challenging process, be it in the chatrooms of 7cups or in any other real life event or project.
The challenges that I have personally experienced is what many other members of the Academy have already mentioned in this Discussion post:
1) The lack of participation: This is something that is super common in the chatrooms. The ratio of the number of active participants to that of lurkers is surely noticeable in any room!
2) One of the ways to effectively build a group is to ensure that no participant feels insecure, anxious or unheard. Giving importance to all the participants is crucial for a group to come together. It is the same as saying "Tiny drops form an ocean". When we emphasize on every single participant, the group automatically starts shaping up. However it needs the right plan of action, strategy and compassion to do this.
@ASilentObserver
A challenge I experienced with coming into the chatrooms for the first time was definitely the anxiety of being the "new listener on the block."
Overcoming that fear and stepping in to lead the Sharing Circle on weeknights, another challenge I have experienced is keeping the room on track after shares are completed, and ensuring that everyone in the queue is given their respected time to share.
One challenge that I have faced in groups, especially in hosting sharing circles is helping out newbies. They often don't know the rules yet. They interrupt, they don't realize that cups is a non-crisis site and provide graphic details when they are sharing. This can interrupt someone else who is sharing, distract the circle, trigger other members and leave the room a little more chaotic than it was before.
What I have learned is to always remain patient, we were all newbies and didn't know what was going on at some point too. Everyone deserves support. Providing the room with links to the guidelines and opening pms for questions is always a good place to start. Breaking the tension with icebreakers and cookies can always be an easy go-to to try and bring the room back to a safe and supportive place for everyone to be in.
@Estrellitaa Thanks for sharing this insight! I didn't realize this and now understand the challenge a mod faces in these chatrooms. I hope you have more manageable chatrooms in the next few weeks!
@Estrellitaa
I really felt this Estre, it can be hard to get the session back on track after it's been 'derailed' but I love your idea of handing out cookies and doing an icebreaker to help settle everyone again :)
@FaithfulZareia, you are spot-on! What it needs most in those situations is our deescalation skills. Fortunately, in the rooms I am in, other participants are usually quite supportive of these new members and help out as well. 😊
Because of this happening a lot, I have a few standard phrases ready in mind with which I welcome the newbies and assist them in joining the session.
I'd like to share 2 challenging scenarios to me, and what I've learned:
1. A chatroom with very few participants - I noticed the mod welcomed everyone as they came in and they acknowledged. The mod also posted icebreakers between sharing, and shared too,
2. A chatroom where 1 person took over the chatroom - I noticed the mod still acknowledged the person but kindly set boundaries. Other participants kindly reminded him of the rules.
@BrightandGentleHand
That's such a great skill, to gently remind someone that the space is for everyone especially when it's not in a structured discussion :)
@ASilentObserver
Share a challenge experienced while building a group in the chatrooms? What did you learn?
Feeling out of the loop when a lot of expereinced listeners are hanging out in LSR. This hasn't happened very often to me personally but I have seen/felt it happen with other listeners. I understand that those of us who have been here a while have developed good connections with each other and new listeners that might not stick around can take up extra energy from us. So I understand the reluctance to stop a conversation you're enjoying.
By welcoming in everyone who enters personally (if it's not crazy busy!) and then catching them up on what we were talking about I can make people feel included and also highlight to those having a conversation that this is a group chatroom without making them feel attacked. Making that extra effort to draw people together and connect new and old listeners feels really important.
🦊
@gentleFox20 I agree with the challenging part. And good effort trying to have a conversation with people entering the rooms. would be a good initiative
