Pros and Cons of appreciation - Discussion

@DonaldDraper

:o *noms my username* 😮 only 2 people knows, but i am dropping out of the project this week due to new roles and other reasons, thank you all for being awesome people 💕 and i appreciate you all. thank you all for the wonderful opportunity, and maybe, just maybe when i learn time management i might re-join, until then, see you all around 💕

@DonaldDraper Very thoughtful post, Donald! I liked to read the thoughts and would love to participate in the discussion questions.

1) What do you think are pros and cons of appreciation?

Pros is, seeing good in someone, is a reflection of good in you, and this goodness spreads like fragrance, when done publicly.

Cons is, someone might catch an appreciation fever, and write flowery words mindlessly without meaning them fully.

2) Given the pros and cons, which appreciation do you think should be preferred? The open or 1-1?

I'd prefer both. 1-1 feels more intimate and more genuine, on the other hand, open means improving the image of one another in one another's eyes.

3) Any additional questions/thoughts? Please share openly.

I'd encourage all to not wait for receiving appreciation, but take steps forward in noticing good in others and take a moment to send some words of appreciation to them, in pm or open, according to what feels more comfortable to you.

@DonaldDraper

Hi! I think this is such a wonderful discussion topic. I also think you provide many good points.

1. What do you think are the pros and cons of appreciation?

I tend to agree that while appreciation can be so great to feel for the ones that receive it in front of others, some can feel left out.

I also think there is a flip side to this coin: Some people may not be comfortable with the feeling of being in the spotlight. For example, for me, I enjoy getting compliments both in private and in front of others, but I also do not like getting compliments in front of others.

I have an internal belief that tells me I do not belong in the spotlight. So even if it feels good I always feel like I am not deserving of that compliment where others can see. I don't know if this makes any sense. It's like I want it, but I feel like it is not for me, despite whether I have done the work or not to deserve it.

2. Given the pros and cons, which appreciation do you think should be preferred? The open or 1-1?

I think both have their place.

Appreciation in front of others serves to boost our confidence and kind of tell other people what we have done well, or right, by another person. It also motivates other people to strive to be or do better. It can also motivate others to act on envy or jealousy ( some people do not like seeing others be appreciated and cannot regulate the feelings that come with that).

Private appreciations can be more heartfelt and meaningful, in a way. It says that the person truly feels this way. There is also a flip side of this as well. Sometimes a person can compliment you in private while tearing you down to other people.

3. Any additional questions/thoughts? Please share openly.

I think my post got kind of dark, but I am going to tie it in: This is only my offline experience, but it is a reality I bring with me in all aspects of my life. I think that being accepting, grateful, and observant can help us make good decisions for ourselves, whenever we interact with others, and to enjoy the appreciation that comes our way, no matter how it comes.

😂 nervous laughter😂

@DonaldDraper

Wow! I really love this post! It was definitely a great read, and I like how you took it from the pro and con perspectives! 😄

I agree that appreciating your peers brings motivation, not only to the appreciated peer but also the appreciator! By recognizing those who have made a great impact on our community, we can connect more as a family! It also sends other the message of how much of an impact the community as a whole has made on everyone’s lives. On the other hand, it could be exclusive of other peers who have not been appreciated. Personally, I know what it is like to be ignored no how hard I try, and I can see how this kind of initiative could cause this. It is difficult to reach out to every single person in the community to appreciate them, and it can be demoralizing. However, this doesn’t take away from this very creative initiative! 😊💜 From this, I don’t have a preference between open and 1-1 appreciations overall - they all have their pros and cons. For open appreciations, you can gain the pride of receiving replies and getting recognized by all of your peers. However, as I mentioned before, it could be demoralizing to those who did not get appreciated. Appreciating peers 1-1 mostly eliminates the issue of demotivating other peers, but it doesn’t give the same boost in morale as when you do open appreciations. 💜

@DonaldDraper

Thank you for the appreciation Donnie! Appreciate it! 😊❤️ Especially that word play around the PAT team xD and what @Nerdtastic01 mentioned, you made that landing from pros to cons feel like a roller coaster ride haha! Love the way you write! 😊

Many interesting points mentioned in there! I agree with what you said. I just may want to add on to the pros and cons.

Pros:😇

1. ‘Honest’ appreciation in any form is truly rewarding as well as motivating and serves as a win-win for all. Even for those who are not directly involved (as mentioned earlier) as they have something to look upto.
2. Appreciation does contribute to bringing out the best in people. Appreciated people may consciously/subconsciously tend to live upto the words of praise used for them.
3. More smiles (yay) as they read the appreciation, feel it, thank their appreciator and later whenever they think about that appreciation. So many smiles on one person’s face with one post! ❤️

Cons:😈

1. Excessive praise may turn into pressure too. Pressure of living upto that praise and (maybe) receiving more such praises in future to be on the roll. Also, human mind can become greedy for more when something good happens. Sometimes, when one appreciation is received, that joy lasts for a little while and then the expectation for receiving more of such appreciation starts building up within without us even realizing/accepting that and it’s effect is greatly reduced. In short, can become addictive to appreciation too : p.
2. Yes, I agree that some people also may feel left out (depending upon their perspective) if they expect to see their name up there and it is not there.

My thoughts: ✨

I wish it was possible to publicly recognize every peer for every single good deed that they did ❤️. But I know it is unrealistic to even think like that. This place is so filled with ‘The Act of Kindness’ that @Fristo was talking about the other day. So, how do we decide who do we publicly recognize and first? (Precisely the reason why I couldn’t still come up with one such post) To some who are not included in the appreciated peers’ list or those who are going to be included in that list in near future, it might seem that a person who isn’t recognized here in the forum posts at a given point in time is undervalued or unappreciated. It’s a natural common feeling of every single human being whether appreciated single/multiple times or not appreciated at all (in written words here I mean).

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts @Fristo , @BeautifulSun298501 , @Nerdtastic01 , @VaryingCloud

I agree with the points made so far

Pros:
- it can spread like fragrance
- thoughtful and meaningful appreciations are always helpful
- it can make someone lift themselves up to match to the appreciation

Cons:
- Mindless appreciation can also spread the same
- May make one feel undeserving of the compliment
- May add the pressure to live up to it

So far, the pros and cons seem balanced 😇

But the question remains: When should 1-1 appreciation be preferred and when the open appreciation? What can help decide? What can be the distinguishing factor?