My birthday
Hello! Sorry for my disappearance. I've been lost in the creative process, but my mind frequently turns its attention here.
Today, I aged. In an instant, a whole year was gifted to me, while another was locked away in the halls of the past. Despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop it!
Endlessly floating through the river of time, I suppose I should learn how to swim. Every tip, every piece of advice, every nugget of wisdom, holds my head high above the relentless waves.
This storm will be weathered. I may have found my own island, a place to observe from a distance, but that distance is heartbreaking. Wherever you are, however you feel, you do not walk alone.
For me, my birthday is about reflection. It pays to step back and integrate the past, and allow the aging process to happen.
My memory is poor, so I have trouble recalling actual events of the past. It's getting better, but I do sense the contrast: I have changed. I am a different person now.
In many ways, I still feel like a child. I tried to know, I tried to have certainty, like so many adults around me seem to do. But increasingly, I see lessons to be learned wherever I look.
A perpetual student, I find the world amazing. It's tragic and beautiful, like a fractured rainbow. I trust we can complete the picture, and am in awe of that trust.
Today, I want to share music and stories. I want to bask in the wonders of the unknown and mysterious, and revel in the feeling that we have the potential to learn more.
So, if you could do just one thing for me today, find a moment to listen to a song that strikes a chord. It doesn't have to be any particular chord. It could reflect the nothingness of the void we can't seem to ignore. But I want to know what means something to you, even if you are overwhelmed with a sense of meaninglessness. You don't have to share it here, it can be totally private. And remember: it's totally optional.
To keep this post from getting too long, I'll post a reply of a song that's been on my mind. Then, I'll share a little story.
Read, or don't. Listen to yourself first. I push no angle. I force no will. But today, I celebrate people, and am proud to be alive.
@jesusredeemedme2425
@Amanda84
@Tinywhisper11
@Torean
@azurePond
@BastionKnight
@PiecesOfWhoeverIWas
@Creamyyy
Now, I know there's probably an intended meaning behind the song. There was a source of inspiration for it, and it means something personal to the artist.
I could spend time trying to figure out the literal meaning of the song, and it would allow me to relate to the artist more. It is a fruitful endeavour.
However, I am also free to use the song as a kind of lens to reflect meaning onto other things. Things that are more personal to me, feelings I have that I don't need the words for, because they exist in the lyrics. It is a way to process emotion, and for me, it opens some interesting doors.
To see existence as a kind of fractured rainbow reflects the tragic and magic nature of life. The lonesome rainbow, wholesome but incomplete, fading and ethereal.
Its indifference does not sigh, it does not roll its eyes. It cares to be, and is free to be seen by whoever looks. Though it has no time for me, I can still bear witness to the beauty that lies before me.
An echo of the past, the fractured rainbow reminds me of times long gone. But the people of old were privileged with the same rainbow we see. It's a little sad to think how striking they would be to unfamiliar eyes, but the very thought of someone lost in wonder is a source of wonder for me.
The contrast between the past and the present is stark. The wretched mistakes we made along the way ripple outward, yet it is precious how we overcome and adapt. No-one seems quite sure where to begin the healing though.
Despite all the brokenness, we cling to hope. Is that foolish? For me, it's what gets me out of bed every day.
There are lines I've skipped over. To me, they still speak, and I hear and feel, but I choose silence. I don't want to paint selfishly with the brush of meaning. Interpretation is personal and unique, and there is no pressure to create. There is no shame in simplicity.
@cyanessence
this is so beautifully written, it feels like both a reflection and a gift you’re offering to anyone who reads it <3
thank you for sharing this on your birthday. your reflection feels like an invitation for others to pause, notice beauty, and maybe even carry a little more hope into their day. 🌙✨
happy happy HAPPY belated birthday!!
This is a companion piece to another story of mine. I won't give it much context. Simply, here is:
The Rainbow
You roar so loud the earth trembles, yet I arrive in silence. Not to undo your sound,
but to let it be seen.
You carve the sky with weight, and I bend it into color. Your burden becomes my spectrum. Each drop of rain you called forth scatters into wonder.
You worry your truth will never be heard,
but look: it is seen. Every gaze lifted to me sees your echo, though softened into light.
Where you break, I weave. Where you mourn, I remind. That sorrow itself is proof of the miracle of feeling.
I am not the end of your storm, only its unveiling. The bridge between despair and awe, born from the tension you carry.
So thunder, do not grieve. Without you, I am invisible. Without me, you are unbearable. Together, we are contrast, the sound and the sight of truth.
@DemiMondaine !
I LOVEEEEE this! <3
@cyanessence
Haaaaaaaaaapppppppyyyy BIIIIIIIIIRRRRTHDAAAAAAAAAYYYYY to YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!
I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on From Eden. I also must thank you for introducing the song to us, for it is new to me. I am very much a fan of Too Sweet and Take me to Church, so it is nice hearing something else by this artist.
Your story excerpt was likewise fascinating. I shall restrain my urge to dissect and analyse, for as fun as that would be for me, and as much as it might deserve such attention, today is about the birthday boy. So three cheers for Cyanessence...Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
And as per your request, a song which holds meaning for me: "As the World falls down" by David Bowie (from Labyrinth)
Have a very happy birthday buddy.
Too Sweet and Take me to Church are great songs! Hozier is talented. I'm glad you got to hear more. There never seems enough time to listen to everything an artist has made.
Dissect, analyse, sit with, or discard. If it's fun for you, go for it! I am happy to provide more context, if you want. I could share The Lightning, The Thunder, and The Guide. There's nothing more fun for me than seeing someone else tear into my words, and I can't help but do it myself too.
That is a beautiful song. The Labyrinth actually holds a special place in my heart. I didn't watch many things growing up, but I watched that movie over and over. Mystical, magical, full of wonder and journey.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fully appreciate the song. I added it to my list, and when it randomly comes on from time to time, it will be a gentle reminder not only of the whimsy of the past, but that someone took the time and care to share with me a memory that was otherwise fading.
Happy birthday!!!! You’re gonna be 20, right? :P
We love you, we cherish you, and we will always be here for you, no matter the storm, no matter the silence, no matter what <3 HUGGGEEEEE HUGGGGSSSSSS <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Totally skipped a beat, I'm definitely 20 again xD
I can't apologise enough for the silence. It's never personal! I just need time to collect my thoughts sometimes. When everything feels like water, it takes a freezer to feel something solid again.
I love you all here. Much hugs.
Hehe and no one can say otherwise ;)
No apologies necessary… I’ve told you before and I’ll say it again. No matter how long the silence, no matter how long you need, I will still be here patiently waiting <3 I will always be here when you come back, no matter how long it takes <3
Ooh… That thing about water is so deep… and exactly what my life is right now.
*hugs* <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Your patience is like ground to walk upon. The very thought quells anxiety, makes every burden lighter. Your certainty becomes mine. It's a force to be reckoned with.
I learned something today. It was a simple lesson: words carry weight. A single one can make all the difference. It's why I choose silence sometimes... it is only by listening that I can truly hear myself.
Awww this is so sweet <3
@cyanessence
@BlueDarkAurora
Cake! Thank you, Blue. It means a lot ^^
@cyanessence 💖
@cyanessence happy birthday dude 🎂
@greendayfangirl
Thanks! Green Day are pretty cool ^^
@ShadowFaerie @unassumingEyes @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @sadcat13 @Amanda84 @goldenduckling @mytwistedsoul @Tinywhisper11 @LovemyMoonflowers @GreenLime3141 @7Bear7 @Phoenixthepoised @Torean @GentleHealingInitiative @cyanessence @YourCaringConfidant @CaringEzra @NobleSeeker @fossilfellow @BastionKnight @trueconfidant123 @safeplace288 @lovingCat6978 @reservedOwl321
@cyanessence
Whoa that’s a special cake
@Admirablerainbow2825
That is quite the cake! Thanks for the smile.
@GreenLime3141
It is mesmerising!
