Ask About Arranged Marriages!
This is a safe place for people who have never experienced this, to be able to ask questions! Please ask whatever you've been curious about, and please be kind, compassionate, and sensitive. Thank you!
For those who have experienced this, please answer questions? You're safe here, and we love your varied and beautiful viewpoints and stories! Thank you for sharing with us! <3
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I’m adding a taglist to start, but this post is open to absolutely everyone! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
🤍🤍 thank you!
You're welcome! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
My question's basically about right after the marriage. Like in my culture the guy and gal dont meet before the marriage, but after the marriage ceremony they go to the guy's home. So as a gal i have questions xD
I guess most importantly, are you expected to be physically intimate with him that very first day? Are you allowed to delay it and for like how long?
....because hes a stranger! Its scary! xD.
Very reasonable question. My opinion, most of the times, yes, on first interaction... first day but it really depends on both. How conversation started, how much both are alike etc. It can be delayed.
@WarmSpark
Ah. Thanks for answering!!
@unassumingEyes
No meeting before the marriage at all? 😮 This is the scariest part I feel. :(
Scary to imagine spending an entire life with someone you barely know?!
I’d really hope that in coming years/ as people grow more progressive and rational thoughts, no matter what country/ culture/ religion etc they are part of… to be more mindful of such decisions. Atleast the guy and the girl to establish some sort of understanding and compatibility before jumping into the marriage scene and/ or becoming physically intimate.
People should really have a say in how much comfortable they are and to take their time in getting to know one another; intellectually and physically, I feel.
💜 Please neverrr let anyone make you do anything you don’t feel super sure/ comfortable about.
Everybody deserves this basic respect and consideration. 🫂
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Each sides' parents/siblings get to meet the bride+groom before marriage. So like, if I were to get married it wld go like this:
—> guy's parents reach out to my parents
—> basic description of guy
—> parents go to meet guy + his parents, come home nd tell me about guy
—> guy's parents come to meet me, go to heir home and tell guy about me
—> parents (both sides) approve
—> guy and I both have the option to refuse each other based on parents' descriptions
But yeah, we dont meet before marriage. The marriage ceremony is a 3day thing and i *think* the bride+groom meet on day2 and go home together and then come back for day3 but im not *sure*
Its absolutely scary but not necessarily bad i think. I hear a lot of horror stories bout dating etc and dont know if I'd ever trust a random guy to go on a first date with (dude, that sounds *so* dangerous) whereas in marriage theres more...scrutiny? To secure your safety.
Divorce is an option.
Im not afraid of disagreements etc I think thats something I could manage to deal w as long as he isnt like an evil guy. But physical intimacy on day 1 is just too much for me (i dont get "one night stands" either) and I do think i'd need like a week to be okay with that
Why can't you meet him first????
@jesusredeemedme2425
Cultural/religious reasons. Or like, both xD
Its for safety, i think. Once the guy via his parents has "proposed" to you, you know now theres atleast some attraction on the guy's part for you. So you dont meet him so you dont have to deal w any risk his attraction can lead him to take. Or even vice versa. If that makes sense
Its not VERY strict. Um, guy can meet gal if parents are present, sit apart etc. More conservative parents dont allow this. I'm not sure whether my parents will 🤷♀️
How is he attracted to you if you've never met???
@jesusredeemedme2425
Physical attraction (he does have your photo plus vice versa)
I'm curious about what happens if after the marriage you find out you're very different and struggle to find common ground, so you disagree a lot.
Does someone come in to mediate or do you just keep trying to connect?
(I am single) I have few real life events like that happen around me and got a chance to mediate. So yeah, in minor cases, trying to connect. But in difficult situations, mediation is important
@WarmSpark Thanks for answering. It's going to help a lot of others, understand it better :)
@ScrabbleBrain welcome
Plz read the community section of grief and loss dated 20th Aug,2026 and give your suggestions below that thread itself.
Deeply appreciate
@jesusredeemedme2425 How does this work for the LGBTQ community? Would parents arrange a marriage between members of the same gender?
@magicallyApricot9947
….technically, most cultures that have arranged marriages in the first place are not LGBTQ friendly. Where I love LGBQ marriages are illegal.
i left the “T” out on purpose– trans people are legally protected and have the right to marriage, but with opposite gender of their identity. Like…a trans girl can marry a boy etc. theres social stigma but its legal.
*where i live