***TW*** Things People Whose Parents Have Passed Wish You Knew
If this is part of your life story, please share your insights! What would you like the rest of us to learn? What should we know about people in this community? How would you like people to interact with you? Should people ask questions? What’s the best way for people to learn about this? Do you have any resources (books, movies, YT videos, etc) that will give us greater understanding and empathy and kindness toward people who experience the same things you do?
If you’re not on this journey, we welcome you to listen, learn, and ask respectful, good-faith questions! Open-ended questions are highly encouraged, as they give people the space to share their unique experiences in their own words. While this is a safe space to learn about things you’ve never experienced, please remember to be sensitive, and avoid sharing harmful stereotypes or debating someone's lived reality. If you have a question, ask it with empathy. If someone gently corrects you, please be open to learning. Let's have a gentle, fun, friendly conversation where we support one another, because it takes all sorts to make a world!
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I’m adding a taglist to start, but this post is open to absolutely everyone! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thanks for the tag ❤️
@jesusredeemedme2425 Looking forward to this thread ❤️
I still dream about my dad all the time. Really hadn't been close with him in years following his passing, and a complicated relationship beyond that... So I didn't really know how to feel.
It can start to feel like more and more of a shame though. So many conversations we could have had. Sometimes I'd like to be having them.
Mourning/bereavement was really quite stunted. I didn't get what I wanted. I needed to be accepted for who I was, not who they wanted me to be.
And tearing apart the lil confidence I had was unacceptable.
I prefer to try and recall the good times because everything is really confusing. I'm sick of being seen, only for my bad traits.
We had just started to reconcile. There's a lot of things I wish I would have asked. Things I wish I would have said. Things I wish he would have said. There's no closure. There's a lot of guilt and shame and sometimes anger. Moments I wish I could have back to do over. It has changed me.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Tough timing for me as my parents passed away on the 22nd and 30th May 9 years ago. It's a reality of life and the grief is easing with time, try and focus on the memories.
I actually made this post with you in mind… Hoping to give you a soft place to express your feelings and memories <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thank you Kiara, that's extremely kind of you, I'm working tonight, tomorrow will be a hard one. My dad passed suddenly from a large brain tumour that was discovered too late to be operable as the medics understandably attributed his cognitive issues to the stress of coping with my mum's battle with cancer and sepsis. Myself and sister didn't see and merit in pursuing the offered complaint process as it wouldn't of brought him back.
I’m so sorry, that’s so hard :’(
@jesusredeemedme2425
The power of being active combined with good tunes on does wonders, my dad shared my passion for music, 50's rock and roll particularly Elvis.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hi Kiara, I just want to thank you for making this post with me in mind. Being at work overnight helped, physically active listening to good tunes and some conversations with colleagues helped.
Emma surprised me at the gym with a card and Emma and he mum joined me for walk at a local lake that has lots of fond memories of my parents for me. Time for me to try and get some sleep before another night shift.
You've been awesome and it's appreciated very much ♥️♥️
You’re welcome <3
Awww that’s so sweet of them <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hope your well Kiara ? I'm back on a far more normal setting, had a countryside walk this afternoon with my sister and enjoyed remembering our parents. Time and family are both good for the soul.
@jesusredeemedme2425 This is helpful as my parents are getting pretty old and I think about this now sometimes
That everyone's grief journey is different. Yes, I lost my mom, but our relationship was rocky- so my grief is different. The only way to learn is to go thru is, sadly..there are no words to descrip the gaping hole that sits on my heart from this experience. I have also found that I can cry out to the Lord at anytime for strength, and he gives me an abundance of it, with peace and serenity. Talking it out is soo important. Seeking help is important.
