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Things People Who Are Asexual Wish You Knew

If this is part of your life story, please share your insights! What would you like the rest of us to learn? What should we know about people in this community? How would you like people to interact with you? Should people ask questions? What’s the best way for people to learn about this? Do you have any resources (books, movies, YT videos, etc) that will give us greater understanding and empathy and kindness toward people who experience the same things you do?

If you’re not on this journey, we welcome you to listen, learn, and ask respectful, good-faith questions! Open-ended questions are highly encouraged, as they give people the space to share their unique experiences in their own words. While this is a safe space to learn about things you’ve never experienced, please remember to be sensitive, and avoid sharing harmful stereotypes or debating someone's lived reality. If you have a question, ask it with empathy. If someone gently corrects you, please be open to learning. Let's have a gentle, fun, friendly conversation where we support one another, because it takes all sorts to make a world!

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User Profile: jesusredeemedme2425
jesusredeemedme2425 OP April 11th

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I’m adding a taglist to start, but this post is open to absolutely everyone! <3

2 replies
User Profile: trueconfidant123
trueconfidant123 April 11th

@jesusredeemedme2425 thanks for tagging me 💗

1 reply
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 April 11th

@trueconfidant123

🩷

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User Profile: fossilfellow
fossilfellow April 12th

@jesusredeemedme2425 Looking forward to this thread! 🤍

User Profile: JackalopesExist
JackalopesExist April 12th

I talked about this topic a little already in the LGBTQ+ thread, but I'll get a little more specific in this one to help spread some info and awareness :)

* I identify as demisexual, which is a sub-category of asexual. There are other, more specific labels that might fit a little better, but I haven't looked into it too deeply and I'm content just saying I'm demi for now. Demisexual means needing to feel a deep emotional bond with someone before experiencing sexual attraction. For me this means I can find someone aesthetically attractive but have no interest in intimate activity until knowing them and being close partners for a long, long time.

* To put it in other terms, I can find a celebrity hot - like I can think they have a nice face or haircut, or I can really enjoy their creative work which might make the overall idea of them more attractive - but I have zero interest in ever seeing them naked or any intimate activity ever.

* There are a lot of different ways to be asexual. Demisexual is just one label of many. Someone might identify with a different sub-label depending on the specific circumstances under which they experience sexual attraction (if any at all), how much libido they have, and how much interest they have in ever acting on any desires with another person.

* You will never offend me with sex jokes and innuendos as long as they're not about me as the subject or the butt of the joke. Some aces have different comfort levels with this, but I think "inappropriate" jokes like that are often really funny because if done well it's more about poking fun at social taboos and adding banter to conversations than talking about the actual subject.

2 replies
User Profile: Heather225
Heather225 April 13th

@JackalopesExist

Hi fellow demisexual!! 🤝 Wonderful informative response!

User Profile: fossilfellow
fossilfellow April 14th

@JackalopesExist Thank you for sharing with us ❤️🥰

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