Stages of Change - Stage 2: Contemplation
Individuals in this stage of change are willing to consider the possibility that they have a problem, and the possibility offers hope for change. However, people who are contemplating change are often highly ambivalent. They are on the fence. Contemplation is not a commitment, not a decision to change. People at this stage are often quite interested in learning about treatment. They know that their problemis causing problems. But even with all these negatives, they still cannot make a decision to change.
How does one get past this stage? If you have an answer to this question please let me know.
I think tht making a decision to change is easier than the actual steps to begin the change is.
It's kind of hard to change when you get so many negative comments from people on how you should change, what you did/do wrong, and then another person says you're useless if you do or don't change .. I've heard it all. But what opinions should you really take seriously? And do you love yourself? Yea I made a lot of mistakes. Yea I'm not getting any younger, but I can still change and delete the mistakes of my past. :)
I know what you mean. My boyfriend is undergoing a process of change and I feel that he is hating this stage. Going to therapy means stress for him and he regards it as negative criticism (someone pointing out yor weaknesses and problems) rather than a valuable opportunity to improve as a person. I wish I could make him more positive and enthusiastic. I try not to criticisize him and rather than yelling at him or tell him what to do, do more like friendly suggestions. Or not even ask. That's not quite fair because at times he does need to be tell what to do or be reminded about things he promised he would do. It's hard for me not to add pressure while being fair to myself.
I kinda decided that the people who criticize me and offer no support or hope are just jealous. My mother especially. She has been negative my entire life. My husband supports me, but then calls me slow at times. I have a bit of a learning disability. I learn better hands on, that's why I chose to be a mechanic. People who criticize someone who chooses to do better knows they need to change some things but have no courage. So they pick out all the faults in others. My past haunts me at times, but I'm slowly learning how to delete that out. Tell your bf the same thing. You love him and he can do great and he will as he keeps trrying. No procrastination! I have issues w/that lol!
I agree with what others have said about this being such a difficult stage. It is often easier to acknowledge/accept that there is a problem than make the decision to actually change and go from there. It can be overwhelming at times when thinking about the work that needs to be done to grow and improve, and sometimes you just have that desire to hope that you don't have to make a decision. You just want things to change without having to change yourself or your behaviors, when the reality is that you must actively work on the problem in order for things to get better.
I have to admit it was extremely difficult getting to this point in my life. As I dida review of whatfinally forced me to admit there was a problem, it got easier. I'd wrestled with my thoughts for quite some time. Suddenly it dawned on me to take a tour of my actions. Itwas proven to me, that I needed help. Seeing all the turmoil it had caused, I sought help immediately. I knewI could notassociate my surroundings with negativity.I needed positive thoughts to conquer my problems. So being in an limited position I searched for internet help. In no time did I find "7 cups of teas" site. I'm so fortunate to have found this program. So I know if I truly devote myself to this programdaily,I'll obtain the success needed to live a moreprosperous life.
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...and this is where i am stuck.
I know I need to change but lack any kind of enthusiasm to change.
Have found in the past that if I know I need to change in some way and don't then I must be getting some sort of payoff....look closely at what you'd miss the most and you are likely to figure it out.... Try it.
stuck here too
any tips on moving forward from this step ?