The Moment of Sudden Realization & Insight

My "aha" moment was realizing that I was living off of a script, and didn't really know whether or not I believed the little sayings that I was using frequently. Like "it will get better", "you're in control of your own feelings", and stuff like that.

Now that I know that, I'm able to stop and examine myself everytime I say something. It feels more honest, and I think it will get me to a point of healing instead of going in circles.

My big ahha moment of the day came when I was reading through the Managaing Emotions Guide, and I came across the following.

Non-judgemental stance: "Don't judge [yourself or others]. If you catch yourself judging, DON'T JUDGE YOUR JUDGING."

*Mind Blown* because I realized that I have been judging myself far worse than anyone else could possibly judge me.

All of us have said, "He or she makesme SO (angry, sad, uncomfortable...pick your emotion.) Isn't that a powerful talent..to be able to FORCEsomeone feel any way you want? The truth is, though we all have triggers and a few simple words or actions can set them off, myemotions are MINE, and no one can force negative feelings in me unless I allow them to. Realizing this and practicing control of my triggers is my AHA moment.

My aha moment came a few years ago when I finally learned to accept myself as I am. Like many young girls, I thought I was hideous. .I hated my stomach because it wasn't flat. I thought my hair was flat and lifeless. I hated how plain I thought I looked. I wanted to look like many of the girls I saw around me who were tall, beautiful, and thinner than me.There were days where I scrutinize my body for around a half an hour because I was disgusted.I also hated my personality. I have Asperger's, and as such I have issues socializing and prefer being alone. I thought I was weird because of it. There were times where I admitted to my family that I felt like a weirdo. My best friend leaving me only made me feel worse. I felt alone, ugly, and like a freak. A couple years ago when I got access to a computer of my own I began to look up if there were other people who felt the same way about themselves as I did. I was able to connect to people who understood. I've come to learn that just because I may not conform to society's ideas of a stick-thin, tall, and full-haired bombshell that doesn't mean I'm not beautiful. I've grown to love my curves, how soft and shiny my hair is, and that my body actually does look healthy. I've also grown to learn that though I have personality quirks, they aren 't all bad. Because I've been an outcast all my life I can understand feeling abnormal. I've also learned what an introvert is, so now I know that I'm not anti-social weirdo. I still have my flaws, but I've grown to accept them. I work to better myself as all should, but I don't hate myself anymore.

When people you love hurts you ... you settle down hoping they will change are or you choose to live with it Do the best you can to manage it the greatest way you know it can make things fine Loving is too complicated when you realize that its not just about you but everybody. But in the end the truth will still set you free and the source of courage that makes you move on

My most recent Aha Moment was when I realized I was allergic to my dog. Then I started to track my allergies more closely and learned that it affects my OCD. The worse my allergies were, the worse my OCD was. So I realized I needed to take care of my allergies more and it helped heal my body, so that my mind would not be as taxed and worn out. I am able to fight my OCD more when I am healthy. So giving up my dog was horriblebut it led to some good changes for me.

I was laying in bed completely exhausted and demotivated, trying to ignore my hunger, when it hit me like a rock that I'm beautiful just the way I am and I'd rather have a delicious pizza than be skinny like a skeleton.

Sometimes the people who listened to you will be harmed without you knowing it. I was hurt but it was my decission not that you taught me. Not that i want anyone to tear you up nor i wish to break anyone apart Im sorry hearty it took years for me to hear it but thank you. I hope this time it will set us all free.

It came when I realized that really and truly the bullies who bothered me years ago are gone. So now I can work on helping my inner voice recover and heal.

I was feeling very nostalgic today for a period of my life that just ended and won't come back, and all that nostalgia left me feeling really sad. But I guess I realised that nostalgia is just longing for the past. It means I've lived a life so good I would go back and live it all over again. So maybe it's better to just embrace that longing and keep on living a life worth feeling nostalgic for in a few years.