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30 Years Today, And I Choose to Speak

User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect February 27th

Today, I complete 30 years of marriage.

Yes, I am divorced. And today, I want to speak about what life truly is.

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I got married 30 years ago and divorced 10 years later. My son was just 8 then; today, he is 28. What followed was not just separation… it was a long social trial.

At 30, I was looked at as if I had committed a mistake. As if divorce must mean something was wrong with me. People didn’t ask directly; they searched. They looked at my toe rings, my bangles, my sindoor… trying to decode my marital status. And I, so young then, felt awkward saying that 8-letter word, “divorced.”

My little 8-year-old son once told me,
“Mama, why say divorced? Just say Papa is in another city for business.”
At just 8 years old, he guided me with a maturity beyond his age.
He comforted me in my lowest moments, more than a son, he became my friend, my support, my quiet strength.

But the dilemma did not end there.
A widow is often met with sympathy.
A divorcee is often met with judgment.

From 30 to 50, it took me years to say without hesitation. Yes, I am divorced.
Today, I feel nothing when I say it. No shame. No discomfort. Only truth.
The hardest moments were not the legal papers.
They were the social ones.

Going to parties and wondering,
With whom will I go?
Where do I stand?
Whom do I mingle with?
Group photos were the toughest. I loved being included. I loved belonging. Yet sometimes I was told to wait “Let the complete family take one first.” I would step back. My son disliked photos, and I would quietly watch others pose.
In those small moments, I felt left out.
As if I needed a husband beside me to deserve a frame.

But life has a way of healing you.
God gave me friends. Real friends.
Slowly, I rebuilt myself. I saw strength in my mother, how she found joy in serving, in clicking pictures for others, in being content. I learned from her.

Today, I happily take photographs for everyone.
And I feel complete.
I have come too far to grieve what I lost.
Instead, I celebrate what I built.

Life is not a bed of roses. It is tough. Very tough.
But if you surround yourself with hobbies, good people, good friends, and good hearts, life becomes lighter.

Today, on completing 30 years of that chapter of my life, I stand peaceful.
Not as someone incomplete.
Not as someone judged.
But as someone fulfilled.

I am content with what I have achieved.
And deeply grateful to all of you, young and old, who walked with me, supported me, and loved me through the journey.

With love.
Always. 


30
User Profile: Irada961
Irada961 February 27th

@LopaConnect

You didn't lose a marriage. You found yourself. You stepped back from photos so others could shine, not knowing you were the light all along. Now you hold the camera. Now you decide. 30 years later, you're not incomplete. You're complete. With or without a frame. Lots of love for you and your son.

Keep shining.   

1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Thank you for that powerful compliment. I receive it with gratitude. 🌺

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 February 27th

@LopaConnect

I'm happy that you are healing.

Happy.

And you can see your worth.

You are unique.

Welcoming and make cups a better place 🤗🩷

2 replies
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Thank you so much for your kind words. It truly means a lot to feel seen and supported. Sending warmth right back to you. 💛

1 reply
User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 March 3rd

@LopaConnect

💙🤗

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User Profile: Amanda84
Amanda84 February 27th

@LopaConnect

I'm happy that you are healing.

Happy.

And you can see your worth.

You are unique.

Welcoming and make cups a better place 🤗🩷

User Profile: softTree9074
softTree9074 March 2nd

Kudos….

1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Thank you so much. I appreciate you. 🌿

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User Profile: RunningMachine
RunningMachine March 2nd

@LopaConnect

A very inspiring post, thank you for sharing, you sounded rightfully proud of your son.

1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Yes, I am proud of my son, he stood beside me when I needed strength the most. Thank you for noticing that. 💙

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User Profile: JammyWammie
JammyWammie March 2nd

@LopaConnect

You're an inspiration to many, including myself. I felt so proud reading this today and couldn't help the happy tears that came with it. 

Lots of love to you 🫶

You're a star, shining so so bright 🌟


1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Happy tears are the most precious kind. Thank you for feeling this journey with me. Your words mean more than you know. 💖

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User Profile: Gabryyyte
Gabryyyte March 2nd

@LopaConnect

You're so strong! Keep going Queen! Sending all the love and support

1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Thank you for the love and support. It means so much. Sending strength back to you too. 👑💕

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User Profile: blissart
blissart March 2nd

kudos...that's what a woman of substance is 

1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Thank you for that powerful compliment. I receive it with gratitude. 🌺

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User Profile: SimplyCompassionate

@LopaConnect

You are truly inspirational. Kudos and more power to you. 👍

1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Thank you for your encouragement and kindness. It gives me strength to keep sharing. 🙏✨

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User Profile: yellowflowersinthedark

@LopaConnect

You have been very strong, ma'am! You made a decision for your happiness, and you made the best and right one! 

1 reply
User Profile: LopaConnect
LopaConnect OP March 2nd

Thank you for saying that. Choosing happiness was not easy, but it was necessary. Your support means a lot. 🌷

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