Day 1: Being True To Ourselves
If you’re following the Love Month Celebration series, I welcome you to celebrate Day 1 of the Self-Love week with me! 🥰
I feel nothing can be truly achieved without being honest to ourselves first. And taking off the delulu-gear (unfortunately, sometimes delulu is not the solulu) from our eyes.
Can’t get out of something without first even acknowledging that you’re in it.
I know “self-love” is often “sold” as something gimmicky online. Like a “quick-fix” to every problem in your life is just feeding yourself “think happy” thoughts.
It’s great if this works for someone, but I know that it doesn’t for most of us, in the longer run.
Which is why, it’s so important to remember that:
Self love doesn’t mean always seeing yourself in a positive light. It means being honest with yourself while still choosing kindness and grace.
A lot of us avoid the truth because we’re afraid we’ll judge ourselves or fall apart if we look too closely. But avoiding the truth often hurts more in the long run.
Oh and mind you, this is not about blaming yourself or fixing everything at one go. It’s about noticing what’s real inside you and letting it exist without pushing it away.
If you feel ready, sit with one or two of these and write whatever comes up:
💌 What feels unfinished or unresolved in my life right now?
💌 What emotion do I keep distracting myself from feeling?
💌 What am I pretending doesn’t affect me, even though it does?
💌 Where am I being hard on myself for something I didn’t fully choose?
💌 What do I wish someone would notice or understand about me?
For those of you who like to journal (pen/paper or through text), I’d encourage you to actually reflect on these in your own quiet corner, if sharing here feels too much. 🫂
If emotions come up, that doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means you listened, you made an effort.
Being truthful with yourself is not self sabotage or self-criticism. It’s the beginning of self respect and self-acceptance. It’s how you start to show up for yourself. 🥰💖
What you had writtten about self-love was quite moving, made me look at it from a different perspective.
The emotion I distract myself from feeling is loneliness. I like to have my own space and time away from people but too much alone time makes me feel lonely, but I do need to manage being my own person too.
What I pretend doesn't affect me but does is critism and rejection. I have gotten better at managing it over the years but it still bothers me and I just try and ignore it or reframe it into more positive thourghts.
Hiya @ChanteM8683 lovely to meet you and I’m so glad that you found this post moving enough to help you think of self-love through another perspective. 🥰
I can relate about wanting to learn to be your own person and also how that comes at the expense of managing too-much-alone time making one feel lonely at the end of their day.
It’s much okay to feel perfectly content being with yourself and also to crave some company and connection at the same time. We are humans hehe, our need for a connection is super natural.
Also, I feel it’s actually a very human response to rejection or criticism to try and pretend it doesn’t affect us much, even when it does. Sometimes it feels easier to brush it off or push it aside rather than sit with the discomfort it brings. I really appreciate that you still try to reframe it into more positive thoughts, especially when it’s emotionally difficult to deal with. That takes sooo much effort. 💛
I feel it can also help to pause and reflect on the intention behind the criticism or rejection. Sometimes feedback does come from a place of wanting us to improve or grow, and in those moments we can take what feels useful and work on it at our own pace. It depends on how it’s phrased too. While constructive criticism can be helpful.
There are other times, criticism can simply come from harshness, frustration, or someone else’s projections. In those situations, it really isn’t about you. You don’t have to carry or internalise every opinion that comes your way. It’s okay to recognise that some words don’t deserve your attention or emotional space. And if it does hurt sometimes, that’s okay too. Feeling affected by rejection or criticism just means you’re human and that these things matter to you. Being gentle with yourself through those moments can make it a little easier to process what you want to keep and what you’re allowed to let go of.
I’m so proud of you for acknowledging it here. 🤗
Thank you!
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
If it’s ok I’ll answer all 5 instead of just 2 ❤️
What feels unfinished or unresolved in my life right now?
Moving out to my own place and living independently, happily, and peacefully. I am happy now but believe once this goal is achieved I’ll be even happier.
💌 What emotion do I keep distracting myself from feeling?
None. Whenever I need to smile or laugh I do. Whenever I need to cry I do. Whenever I need to be angry or let my anger out I do.
💌 What am I pretending doesn’t affect me, even though it does?
Nothing. I am not a pretender. Nor am I a faker or a liar. None of these match being authentic which I always am. There’s no way I’d ever trade that to pretend.
💌 Where am I being hard on myself for something I didn’t fully choose?
Living with my mom and stepdad. I didn’t choose that. It was forced on me by my sister who at the time said I’d get away with anything yet now is telling me I “can’t live here anymore”
💌 What do I wish someone would notice or understand about me?
That I’m a lot smarter and more capable and have more potential than anyone realizes but never showed it bc I never had the opportunity to and since everyone keeps doing everything for me believing I can’t do anything myself those opportunities will never exist. At least not till I live independently that is.
