Foundations of Self-love

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@GoldenRuleJG

It's really great post and the self love wheel is creative too. Thanks for sharing ❤

This is a neat post!

I'm going to add onto it what I do/plan to do to help with self-love:

Mental Health : Typically, I journal or come to 7cups to help with my mental health. Sometimes I go for walks and listen to music to help. I have a therapist for DV counseling as a survivor but ...I plan on changing therapists, ad he does most of the talking and makes assumptions about my situation...

② Self-Acceptance : This one, I struggled quite a bit with, but I feel better about it the older I get. I tell myself that it's OK to make mistakes, it's not the end of the world. Forget about the negative Inner Voices in your head, and focus on the ones that will actually HELP with problem-solving, not wallowing in self-hate/self-pity.

✣ I want to teach my son this as well, as both my son and self have PTSD...he has PTSD after I called the cops on ex/his dad and he was placed in (temporary) care by his greedy/negligent aunt, aka, ex's sister CPS. Both my ex and myself reported his sister MANY times, and it did nothing. He's with me now in permanent care, and I'm trying to help him heal from the damage they caused him.

✣ My PTSD has been for years as a child up until my adult years, then it got worse when I got with alcoholic ex ... I grew up in a dysfunctional household, where my mother expected nothing less than perfection. For example, earning straight As, being the BEST at everything I do compared to others so she can brag about it, having the typical life of "have a job in the STEM field and give mother stuff for free, find a partner that's mother's race/ethnicity [I'm mixed race btw, but my mother keeps trying to claim me as hers, but when I mess up, I'm my father's race LOL] and also HER religion[I'm an atheist lol], get married, have children, baptize children, and parent them how SHE wants to[which may involve abusing/hitting them. She is sick.]" But guess what? I dropped out of computer engineering school, I got knocked up without getting married first by someone who's a different religion and race than myself, and I don't abuse my child like my mother did to me.

✣ Both parents were verbally abusive, but my mother was also physically abusive and committed SA towards me...which I didn't really realize until someone pointed it out to me. Most people don't think much about it if both the abuser and victim are females, but...I guess I was SA.

③ Boundaries : Another one I am terrible with; boundaries. I've learnt the different types, which are Rigid, Pourous, and Healthy. I am trying to keep them healthy, and to be more assertive --- not aggressive nor passive --- but assertive. Basically, rigid boundaries is putting a HUGE barrier/wall, making it impossible for people to get to know you, and porous is the opposite where you over share everything and too easygoing, to where people step on you. I've flipped-flop between these two, because I either get TOO paranoid with people or TOO trusting of people...I'm still working on healthy boundaries.

④ Self-Care: I plan on taking care of myself better... I hardly have any clothes, haven't had a haircut in 3+ years and at least need the split ends cut, and lastly, just haven't really been able to have "me time" much to do what I want to do... I'm used to sacrificing myself to make others happy. I'm going to save money first, then get some nice clothes at the thrift store, get my haircut (maybe either a Devacut, Ouidad, or Rezö cut for my curly hair!). I also want to go on a road trip here soon too, possibly solo while son is with father(who's now sober for nearly a year)...which will lead to Self-Discovery, because I've forgotten what its like to be me, Imp, ImpudentIncognito...

⑤ Inner Voice: My inner voices have been mostly quiet, I think, unless I make a big mistake, then the negative inner voices from my family start popping up. I try to shut it off by thinking logically and rationally. This will probably sound...really, REALLY strange but I used to imagine an alter ego, who had their hand on their shoulders, giving me advice on what to do. Kind of like... Talking to myself to rationalize my feelings, but also having a friend/mentor. I don't know if others do this?...I was a lonely child back then, and invented this voice to be there when I was friendless and felt alone. That voice hasn't been around for a while though, but maybe it's time to bring it back.

⑥ Self-Discovery: I have many hobbies! I'll list them out here: drawing, writing, weightlifting, fixing computers/phones, learning about new technology, green-living/sustainability, reading comics and novels, running, playing musical instruments, composing music, singing, sewing, crocheting, playing sports -- whether for fun or competitively (soccer, bowling, martial arts, gymnastics), travelling, computer programming, learning foreign languages, cooking, playing videogames, mountain climbing, trekking outside, and just...learning anything new or whatever tickles my fancy at the moment.

✣ Unfortunately, I have NOT been doing any hobbies lately... Just been stressed and depressed. But going to slowly work my way back to doing hobbies.

✪ Thank you for reading! I know it was a lot that I wrote. Hope you guys are having a great day! Apologies if anything sounds confusing or for spelling mistakes, using mobile at the moment.

@GoldenRuleJG

Love it, the aspects of life can be divided into more than five depending on you. and we usually top three to work on, setting a goal, brainstorming, evaluating . thanks and take care

Thank you for posting the wheel. Helpful. 😊