Self-Exploration - What is the catch?

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@GoldenRuleJG

The exploration for me started at a slow pace.

Realities keeps greeting me without any consideration.

They are both dreams and nightmares.

I still keep going to explore more despite it.

The truth uncovered right before my eyes.

Some of them are easy for me to accept.

Some of them I wish that I could erase it from my memory.

But what is life without dramas and thrills?

I realized there are more unknowns for me to find out.

It's okay, maybe I'll get some hints about it.

Maybe it's just not the right time yet.

Patience and courage are what I've been taught for years.

With this website and people around me,

Surely, they are helpful for me to figuring this out.

And what about you golden?

What are you searching for deep within yourself?

( ok that was long coming out from me, lol I don't know what I've been writing smh xD I'm not so great at poetry so i apologize in advance smh for second time D: )

What do you really want to explore and know about yourself?

I really want to know if I can get over my father's sudden death or not, and if I can search for work and finish my MA thesis or not, and also if I can celebrate my father's birthday in the second November without my father or not.

Who is going to help you learn about yourself?

Nobody.

Is the answer that obvious or left to debate?

I don't know.