Am I a horrible person?
My stepdad passed away last year on my birthday. It was sudden and fast and I thought I had made peace with it. But my birthday is coming up in a couple months and I am just feeling a bunch of emotions. I'm sad and still angry about the death of my step-dad which is a given but I also feel like my birthday was taken from me? Like the one day for me is something I can't celebrate anymore. I feel insane for even being upset about my birthday being gone because I obviously care more about my family and their feelings are going to be for that day. Also I feel like I shouldn't celebrate it at all which also makes me sad. Its not like I can celebrate it on a different day/week of the month because there are birthdays of other family members before and after and a major holiday as well. Am I selfish for feeling that way?
@fearlessSky9102
We cannot control when things happen. It can ruin a day with memory of a loss....
Many people feel like you do for example if it happens on a holiday and it puts a bad memory for all... now being it is your birthday it is more important to you ....then lets say the rest of family or group ... it is hard for a few years but at a certain point it will lessen.
I doubt anyone would want you to feel you could not celebrate you own birthday maybe a small thing on like the first year anniversary .... but it is unrealistic to say that day is off limits from now on.
@fearlessSky9102
First of all, let me start by saying that I’m so sorry for the loss of your stepdad. It is completely normal to have feelings of all sorts for years after a significant loss. My grandmother passed away on my 21st birthday and I felt much like you do for several years after she passed. It’s okay to be upset and angry. And it’s ok to grieve and celebrate on the same day. I hope that you do find ways you can celebrate and still honor your feelings of grief.
~Kristy
@fearlessSky9102 why do you think so?
