I am confused

@cloudy49

     I feel as we grow up and are dealing with things we have a different view of our parents or even others around us. When a person is gone it is hard to reconcile our feelings. 

At first when a person passes, we try to only remember the positive and as life goes on, we can stumble across items that make us question things. Or question what we believed or were told by parents etc. 

We get angry sometimes that we cannot resolve those feelings by talking with that person. 

@cloudy49 

Happy birthday cloud, 

Our grief and relationships with the peopel we love (even after they die) change. There is no right or wrong way to feel or grieve. Its hard when you are in limbo and are not even sure the emotiosn you are having, please be patient with yourself. you are not alone thoguht this <3

@cloudy49 -- there's no timeline on grieving, so it sounds to me as though you're going through one of the different stages of grief.  In another while you'll probably find yourself going through another different emotion (in the same way that you experienced anger last year and now you're feeling this numbness).

The different emotions come and go (and unfortunately for us they don't neatly happen one after the other until the acceptance phase mercifully comes along, they can resurface in different orders at different times, or we can experience different ones all at the same time, introducing confusion into the whole thing...)

The main point is to be compassionate with yourself, and try not to think that what you're feeling is in any way wrong.

If you haven't already, it might also be helpful to seek out some support in terms of coping with grief -- I've just downloaded an app called Griefity (on Android) which I'm hoping will be of help over here, because I'm feeling overwhelmed and felt I needed to do *something*.