I found out my friend was a pedophile and it feels like he's died all over again
i feel so weird right now
i used to be friends with this one dude from like 2018 to 2021 when he passed away. last month police found out he a really *** up dude and he was in a bunch of zoophilia and child abuse groups and other disgusting depraved *** and ive been struggling a lot with that
i want to hate him but i miss him so much and i dont know whats wrong with me. he has hurt children and animals, and yet my brain keeps on trying to come up with excuses for him and all this ***, like, ohh, he was an addict, its because of the drugs, not the real him!! or, well he had a *** up childhood, so he cant be blamed!! i feel disgusted with myself sometimes
i know im not a victim here, i know hes a monster and im *** in the head for trying to think he isnt but i dont even *** know i just. UGHHHH. it feels like he's died all over again and I KNOW im being immature and self centered and *** but I feel so depressed man
@grausamkeit
So he hid what he was well or never showed any signs ... the person you met and knew is gone and you find out he was a monster too...
the confusion would be hard for anyone ....you do not need to defend his issues to anyone that is not whom you knew.... we all have sides to us that maybe some people do not know all of us.... Those who are messed up often are experts at hiding it and presenting a side that people do like..... it is NOT a reflection on you
you can miss the person you felt was your friend and also be disgusted by the other side of them....it will feel weird because you will never get closure on this.