I lost my cat

Two weeks ago I lost my sweet baby boy, Arlo. He was a sweet orange cat and his death was out of nowhere. He was only 5 years old so it was really quite unexpected.

I feel as if I haven’t really processed everything. I did cry when my wife and I found him and I cried that entire day, and then a few times since.

I have another cat who has since become quite depressed and due to this, my wife and I are looking at getting another cat.

I wouldn’t mind another cat, because it just hasn’t been as hectic without two cats. However, I am afraid that once we do get another cat, I am just going to lose it.

Arlo was my very first pet since I left the roof of my parents’ house. He was my rebound when I broke up with someone who I still to this day, have deep feelings for even though I am married. (Please do not get me wrong. If I had to choose between my wife and the other person, I would choose my wife). But I feel as if I lost more than my baby boy, but a piece of my life. And what’s worse, is my wife thinks I blame her. I do not blame her in the slightest. I know his death more than likely could not have been prevented.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want my other cat to be so sad, I don’t want my wife to be sad, and I do want another cat, I just feel like i am replacing Arlo and the reality of him being gone will really hit once another cat is in my life. I feel like this will lead to a spiral of depression and me rejecting this new cat.

I don’t know what to do.