I’ve experienced grief, but never like this…
I’ve experienced grief, many types. Loss of a friendship, loss of a relationship, loss through death. Through death, I have lost my nana, my childhood pet, my childhood best friend, and now someone who is like my big brother.
In February of 2023, i lost the most amazing person i’ve ever met. this man was like my brother. he always supported me, always listened, and was genuinely just one of the best human beings i’ve ever had the privilege of having in my life.
since he’s been gone, i’ve spiraled. i’ve dealt with depression and anxiety a majority of my life. ever since i was 8, and i’m currently 22. i’ve struggled with self harm since i was 9, and have had multiple relapses in the last year.
losing him is easily the hardest situation i’ve ever had to navigate. every single day, it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest. i feel like the one source of pure love and support i had is now gone, and i’ll never be able to get that back.
i have others in my life who love me and who i love, but no one seems to compare to him. his level of sincerity and compassion, is unmatched.
i feel as though i should be moving on, but i cannot find it i myself to let go. i’m simply not ready and that makes me feel weak.
to say i haven’t had thoughts of ending it to be with him would be a lie. thankfully, i know i would never, but the thought lingers sometimes.
life feels dark and cold without his presence. he was the light at the end of the tunnel for me and i couldn’t be more heartbroken.
i miss him more than anything else in this entire world.
@LittleMoose02
I am sorry for your loss... and when we lose someone so very close and loved....... sometimes I feel ...we can't or won't let go because we feel if we continue living or move on......... it is like forgetting how important they were. I think if they could reach out they would want you to move on and not wallow in your sorrow...
moving on is NOT forgetting .....it can be sharing them with others like telling new people about them how they changed or helped you......... keeping them alive in your thoughts and living with the idea they can still guide you.
@LittleMoose02 it's ok to be heartbroken, over the one who was your hero ❤ it's only been just over a short year, so still grieving hard doesn't mean your weak. If you were grieving hard still in 20 years time, it wouldn't make you weak, Rather a human with love in their heart ❤ it's so very hard to loose someone we love so much, and to already want to be in heaven with him, is ok. I wish that for me too sometimes. I'm glad you reached out here today ❤ that's a very brave step. Grieving is a process that's very different for everyone, I hope you continue to reach out here, just to know someone here's your cries and understands your pain can be really helpful ❤ hugs you tightly ❤ he's never completely gone, he lives in you, and watches over you ❤
@LittleMoose02
Grief is such a heavy burden to carry, especially when it feels like you've lost someone irreplaceable. Losing that kind of support and love can leave a huge void in your heart, one that seems impossible to fill. It's okay to feel lost and broken right now. And it's okay if you're not ready to let go or move on just yet. Grief doesn't have a timeline, and there's no right or wrong way to navigate it. You're not weak for struggling. It takes incredible strength to face each day when your heart is heavy with grief. Those moments are precious, and they'll always be a part of you, helping to keep his light alive in your heart